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Array
(
[sid] => 186502
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Barbed Wire Heart
[time] => 2019-08-31 05:07:19
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => empty spaces that used to be lived in the unexpected flashes, so vivid this city screams with the silence of your absence sweltering summer days holding your hand memories fade and it’s not what I planned she tells me you miss me and I lose my balance but the way it breaks my heart doesn’t compare to the fear I choke on that you might not care the more days and weeks go by that I’m not there and this emptiness echoes through endless caverns composed of a whole life’s worth of give and take I try so **** hard to explain but you know I choose my words carefully not a single line crafted arbitrarily there’s a whole world inside of me that no one knows seeing ghosts in the corners of my eyes all the things I can’t compartmentalize and I think all these cracks might be starting to show so I admit I’m just a little bit scared of a rift I won’t be able to repair and of those eyes seeing into my despair bitten nails and stomach aches and bad dreams of old mistakes streaming tears, aches and pains come and go I feel alone but I just stay home it’s such a cliché to say I’m in pain to write metaphors about feelings and rain and scream so loud about how no one understands but it feels like setting my nerves on fire and wrapping my heart up in barbed wire to cut myself open, then reach for barren hands [comments] => 3 [counter] => 79 [topic] => 61 [informant] => MoonlitAngel [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => selfstruggles )
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