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The Lake of Lament
Contributed by
WorthlesSanity666
on
Thursday, 9th June 2005 @ 02:55:18 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
Punch me again.
Listen and I'm hollow.
All I had inside me
were the tears of my
internal rain
and all the blood
that's in the drain.
I wallowed and weeped in my disdain
and now my soul's a puddle of pain.
I think there is a creature
in that lake of lament.
It mirrors the make
but yet this creature looks content.
My knees give out
and I try to join the beast
I splash into the pool
but theres no one to greet me there.
I dry sob the tears that I have not,
all my hope and light is spent
and my dreams and life ferment.
Copyright ©
WorthlesSanity666
... [
2005-06-09 14:55:18]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The Lake of Lament
(User Rating: 1 )
by kuro_rei on
Thursday, 9th June 2005 @ 03:44:13 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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I like this. It's decently written, and I liked the mood it set. I was a bit confused the first time I read it through, but I think that's because I read some words out of place. It's very good.
Well done. Keep up the good work! |
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Re: The Lake of Lament
(User Rating: 1 )
by xxbreathlessx on
Thursday, 9th June 2005 @ 04:00:18 PM AEST
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a Message)
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loved how you started it.
"Punch me.
Listen and im hollow"
thats great use of imagination. i like the description you put into it. great job! |
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