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Array ( [sid] => 9537 [catid] => 1 [aid] => Mick [title] => Crying Bullets [time] => 2002-12-31 18:00:00 [hometext] => *This poem sucks I realize that. I wrote it when I was angry at my dad. Stanzas 2 and 4 are about him. So yeah hope u like this one...* [bodytext] => Shaking from the depression
Washing over me like a 10 ton truck
I try to smile, behind these tears,
But I'm thinking of crying bullets
Then others might know a fraction
Of the pain I must endure
That's not fair? Oh I know

You've yelled and fretted
And bullied and b*****d
I've almost cried, but you don't give a *****
You don't understand
(Although you say you do),
But you only care about your fat belly
You don't care how I feel

My head is hurting
Can't deal with this anymore
Go ahead and dip me in plague
I have no desire to live
For what is living
When you are forbidden love?
I'm going through more than I care to know

I see how you glare
I'm sorry I don't live up to your standards
Stop pushing christianity all over me
It makes me sick
I'm sorry I can't skate
Or bench 200
See... you don't understand or relate

The pain is still heavy
I feel like screaming and cursing,
But oh that wouldn't be right
I'd like for these tears to leave
For these scars to disappear,
But this hole grows ever wider
Please can I know what its like to be happy? [comments] => 7 [counter] => 264 [topic] => 6 [informant] => bobotheclown [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 8 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => AngryPoetry )

Crying Bullets

Contributed by bobotheclown on Tuesday, 31st December 2002 @ 06:00:00 PM in AEST
Topic: AngryPoetry

Shaking from the depression
Washing over me like a 10 ton truck
I try to smile, behind these tears,
But I'm thinking of crying bullets
Then others might know a fraction
Of the pain I must endure
That's not fair? Oh I know

You've yelled and fretted
And bullied and b*****d
I've almost cried, but you don't give a *****
You don't understand
(Although you say you do),
But you only care about your fat belly
You don't care how I feel

My head is hurting
Can't deal with this anymore
Go ahead and dip me in plague
I have no desire to live
For what is living
When you are forbidden love?
I'm going through more than I care to know

I see how you glare
I'm sorry I don't live up to your standards
Stop pushing christianity all over me
It makes me sick
I'm sorry I can't skate
Or bench 200
See... you don't understand or relate

The pain is still heavy
I feel like screaming and cursing,
But oh that wouldn't be right
I'd like for these tears to leave
For these scars to disappear,
But this hole grows ever wider
Please can I know what its like to be happy?

Copyright © bobotheclown ... [ 2002-12-31 18:00:00]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Crying Bullets (User Rating: 1 )
by Ilhar on Tuesday, 31st December 2002 @ 06:09:51 PM AEST
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joel
hang in there... this was a very good write.
my father was extra tough on my older brother i know the pain he put him through and also physical abuse. but if you hang in there you can overcome this ...i believe in you

Sharon

Re: Crying Bullets (User Rating: 1 )
by OreO on Tuesday, 31st December 2002 @ 06:17:05 PM AEST
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This is so sad Joel i hope things get better for you i truly do, i can't say i know what this feels like ....my father passed away when i was 9....my heart is right there with you, you know that....and if you need to talk you know where i am.....thank you for finding the courage and strength to share such a private part of your life through your writings my friend...
.:*~*:.OreO.:*~*:.

Re: Crying Bullets (User Rating: 1 )
by Chanti on Wednesday, 1st January 2003 @ 02:18:38 AM AEST
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Joel.. try to stay strong.
I dont understand why parents have such high expectations for thier children, and it seems as if all that they care about is themselves, denying us a way to find love in them, i cant tell you why your dad is like this, but if it helps, i hope that in some small way, all of the people here and in your personal life make up for some of the love that you feel you are missing. Remember, we all care about u, and feel free to talk if u ever feel upset about something and need someone to talk to.

Thanks,
Chanti*

Re: Crying Bullets (User Rating: 1 )
by Daniela_Maria_Violin on Wednesday, 1st January 2003 @ 02:10:01 PM AEST
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I can only echo what everyone else has said...

Re: Crying Bullets (User Rating: 1 )
by darkmind on Wednesday, 1st January 2003 @ 02:26:24 PM AEST
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i can identify with this good poem

Re: Crying Bullets (User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_Kalicharan on Thursday, 2nd January 2003 @ 11:51:14 PM AEST
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First off, this poem doesn't suck!! It's great...sad but good.... I know you have the strength to pull thru this, Joel... Keep writing your beautiful words..the healing will eventually begin..
Jenni

Re: Crying Bullets (User Rating: 1 )
by SmokinJoeEvil on Friday, 3rd January 2003 @ 11:50:48 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

The poem certainly isn't bad. The more self-reliant you become, the better things will get.

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