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Array
(
[sid] => 92408
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Silenced
[time] => 2005-04-27 08:01:45
[hometext] => Written 5/24/03 to my Mom...
[bodytext] => You shut the door in my face, between you and I there stands a huge space. I wonder what I must do to get you to see, I just dont understand why you don't beleive me. You tell me Im a lot of talk, I truly beleive in communication, so dont mock. We have always lacked basic interaction, so what you see is just a small fraction. I do admit, at times I can be audacious, but at most I am very gracious. I know my reputation doesn't serve me as a taciturn, but if you don't beleive me now, in my heart it will burn. I know I am here by my own volition & now I am leaving for my own remission. This chronic plague between us I hoped to relinquish. Our many arguements I hope would abate, but they havent, still until this date. So it seems our chemical aversion is ineluctable, there is no room for compromise on a deductible. I beleive the chance of you grasping me is within your ken, because & I cant stand behind this door for the year more of ten. I work very hard to achieve the highest success, not very often do I involve you, I confess. But there is nothing I can do to change your mind, your convinced with my attitude it is only trouble I will find. I do hate to say that what you think is totally wrong, but despite of what you assume I have been doing good all along. Now that door in my face has worn me down, I feel completely naked except for a frown. You don't realize how important it is to me that you see how I am, not just the petals but down to the stem. I have begged for years for you to loosen your grip on your beliefs, the petals of my flower are falling off like a tree does his leaves. You say it's what I do that really counts, but every time I try to tell you the truth, off your heart it does bounce. If you really knew what I do, you would be impressed; I don't ever mean to make you stressed. I only wish that you would learn to have a little trust, my attempts to achieve that have been a bust! I am tired of starring back at myself when I look into your eyes, the disappointment you feel you cannot disguise. If you are convinced, then there is nothing I can do, all of what I say now is true. You will do what you wish no matter what, so I hope soon you will realize Im good & I don't have to strut. Weve all decided that I leave now for everyones sake, because as loud as I have been screaming at that door the whole neighborhoods awake. I am afraid I have failed & you are not convinced,... so forever I will reamin... silenced. [comments] => 2 [counter] => 181 [topic] => 23 [informant] => kareless [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => FamilyPoems )
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