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Array
(
[sid] => 91596
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Point of No Return
[time] => 2005-04-20 11:37:13
[hometext] => When at the point of no return, options are limited... or are they? And how do we define point of no return...
[bodytext] => Parked on the ledge overlooking I-95 Knowing that eighty foot drop will end my being alive Wasn't always this way Was happy as a lark when I was young Even 'fraid of the dark Moved into my teen years saw so many on drugs That was no answer I preferred many hugs High school was bearable Applied myself to my studies Not the most popular Had one or two buddies This about adulthood: worse than adolescence I became invisible No palpable presence The workplace was complex There were so many rules I didn't fit in With the circus of fools But I was so different I felt like a guest In a sea of humanity I was scorned by the rest Practiced with swords I did and the occasional knife It was a poor substitute This semblance of life But then I did meet her she was such a godsend Smart, kind and so pretty One problem: Boyfriend Stop me it did not I wanted her so much Would have done anything For soft caress or touch Failed miserably I did For two months I cried That was the first time that part of me died Six months later the leaves they did fall Inspired by their deaths I thought of ending it all Lived near a transformer electricity's unforgiving It'd be the perfect way for me to stop living They say it takes courage to live, not to die But to this day I think it's a lie I met this woman who'd soon be my wife Finally happy With my crazy life When the honeymoon ended my swords disappeared Was I losing my freedom It was this that I feared Then came my son who was born autistic My wife was abusive She could go so ballistic Eight years it's all over the marriage is done Looking back at it all What was missing was fun No one would date me I was so obviously old In the hight heat of summer my heart had grown cold Work had gone brutal I quickly burned out There'd never been a life before; there was no doubt Years had gone by since life had been fun From my numb life I needed to run Life changed me too much that I finally did learn Stepping away from the ledge To my old life, I could never return [comments] => 4 [counter] => 182 [topic] => 48 [informant] => Jaycee [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => EmotionalPoetry )
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