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Array ( [sid] => 90285 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Who I Am [time] => 2005-04-07 22:26:22 [hometext] => this is to my parents who will never accept me for who i am. im sorry im not perfect... (sorry it's so long i got caught up in the moment) your input please [bodytext] => You can feel it on my face
I’m sorry I’m so cold
You can see it in my eyes
My sorrow growing old
You can tell by the way I act
My strength has grown thin
You can try to bring me back
But I can’t escape what I’m trapped in
You have no control
Over the way I feel
And you see these smudges on my face
Proving that it’s real
You cannot coax me
I will not talk to you
Sometimes I can’t believe
The things that you do
What you say and how you act
It only makes it worse
You only add to the burden
You only thicken the curse
Forget that I ever was
And let me be free
Just get off my back
Just ******* let me be me
Is that too much to ask?
Or can you not handle it
Who I have become
You don’t give a ****
You know what, go ahead
Do it, you might as well
As if my life’s not already
A complete living hell
If you don’t like me
You think I care?
If I cant be who I want to be
Then I see no point in being here
I swear I am so close
I want so bad to run away
But I know that’s not an option
I’d have no where to stay
And so I’m trapped here
In this hell of a life
There’s only one way I see
Left to end my strife
Yet, I lack the courage
So I have yet to suffer
I have died and lived too many times
Why make it another?
I know I make you sick
I make me sick too
But I swear, I will never
Ever satisfy you
So I discontinue my attempts
To meet your standards too high
I want so bad to let out my pain
But there’s no tears left to cry
You think that I need help
So be it
Go ahead, try me
I wont take this
Forget all the good
Hold onto only the bad
Erase all the happy
Remember only the sad
I choose to live like this
It is for me to decide
I refuse now to run
I refuse to compromise
You say it’s not right
I really don’t care if you agree
I have settled on a decision
I will not be changing me
[comments] => 5 [counter] => 148 [topic] => 48 [informant] => blue_angel [notes] => Mod 9 Bleep word 4/07/05 Please bleep the whole word. Thanks [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => EmotionalPoetry )
Who I Am

Contributed by blue_angel on Thursday, 7th April 2005 @ 10:26:22 PM in AEST
Topic: EmotionalPoetry



You can feel it on my face
I’m sorry I’m so cold
You can see it in my eyes
My sorrow growing old
You can tell by the way I act
My strength has grown thin
You can try to bring me back
But I can’t escape what I’m trapped in
You have no control
Over the way I feel
And you see these smudges on my face
Proving that it’s real
You cannot coax me
I will not talk to you
Sometimes I can’t believe
The things that you do
What you say and how you act
It only makes it worse
You only add to the burden
You only thicken the curse
Forget that I ever was
And let me be free
Just get off my back
Just ******* let me be me
Is that too much to ask?
Or can you not handle it
Who I have become
You don’t give a ****
You know what, go ahead
Do it, you might as well
As if my life’s not already
A complete living hell
If you don’t like me
You think I care?
If I cant be who I want to be
Then I see no point in being here
I swear I am so close
I want so bad to run away
But I know that’s not an option
I’d have no where to stay
And so I’m trapped here
In this hell of a life
There’s only one way I see
Left to end my strife
Yet, I lack the courage
So I have yet to suffer
I have died and lived too many times
Why make it another?
I know I make you sick
I make me sick too
But I swear, I will never
Ever satisfy you
So I discontinue my attempts
To meet your standards too high
I want so bad to let out my pain
But there’s no tears left to cry
You think that I need help
So be it
Go ahead, try me
I wont take this
Forget all the good
Hold onto only the bad
Erase all the happy
Remember only the sad
I choose to live like this
It is for me to decide
I refuse now to run
I refuse to compromise
You say it’s not right
I really don’t care if you agree
I have settled on a decision
I will not be changing me




Copyright © blue_angel ... [ 2005-04-07 22:26:22]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: Who I Am (User Rating: 1 )
by mina-1 on Thursday, 7th April 2005 @ 11:25:19 PM AEST
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This is a sad, deep and emotional write. You can feel ur pain and anguish through every line. I hope things work out for u. A strong, powerful and deeply expressed poem. Well done
Hugs,
Sue


Re: Who I Am (User Rating: 1 )
by O7NeVeS on Friday, 8th April 2005 @ 01:16:08 AM AEST
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Very heartfelt write...i can feel ur pain. You expressed urself greatly in this write. I wish u luck...take care. Tanya


Re: Who I Am (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Friday, 8th April 2005 @ 03:20:32 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
Great poem, very honest and intense. I can relate , I felt that way with one of my parents growing up and stil do at times long after moving out and having children of my own!!
Leia


Re: Who I Am (User Rating: 1 )
by girltranscended on Monday, 11th April 2005 @ 11:11:00 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
"Yet, I lack the courage
So I have yet to suffer
I have died and lived too many times
Why make it another?
I know I make you sick
I make me sick too
But I swear, I will never
Ever satisfy you"

This was my favorite section BUT THE REAL ATOM BOMB is your last line. Such conviction and power - it , you - are uplifting and spectacular. You are honest (I think) and it makes for a very appealing write.

:)


Re: Who I Am (User Rating: 1 )
by Jaycee on Monday, 18th April 2005 @ 03:59:03 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
Possibly your best work, Jennie. You already know this, but it bears repeating. You can't (necessarily) please others in life, only yourself. But you shouldn't have to please others. I know that is so hard, especially when these are authority figures. You are you, Jennie, and not some image that others should be allowed to mold like clay. I will not be changing me - Yes, that is the key (as someone also pointed out). You have to be true to yourself. If we are not honest with ourselves, what else can we have? We have to compromise, that is true, but not who we are. From a literary standpoint, very good indeed. Your pain is as real and as solid as the keyboard I am typing on.




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