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Array
(
[sid] => 87060
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Less than me
[time] => 2005-03-10 14:51:55
[hometext] => I never want to say things. I never want anyone to know how I feel. But then...at least poetry is here.
[bodytext] => I've tried to breathe in air all day,
But I couldn't let it into me,
I somehow wanted to leave that way,
To go alone and quietly,
In silence so no one would hear me moan,
My breath coming shallow, slowly paced,
And I'd slowly fade away alone,
With nothing but my own disgrace.
Because I'm feeling less than useless,
Somehow becoming less than me,
I don't seem to care about anyone now,
And they care the same way, it seems,
So I'm just sitting locked in this corner,
While my heart plays games with my brain,
I'm messed up inside in too many ways,
But I only know that I am afraid,
So I'll slowly fade away alone,
With nothing but a shadows embrace.
..And I'll pray for someone to know the truth,
To hear my silent plea's,
'Let me be the girl I used to be,
Stop me being wrapped up in me'
But now I will just fade away,
Too afraid to say what I feel,
With nothing but my own embrace
To shield me from what's real.
(And I will fade away alone,
Because no one can know...
...That I hurt, too.)
******
(I know people get things mixed up easily on this site and I want you all to know that this is about none of you in any way whatsoever. It is about me and the problems that I have at the moment with voicing my feelings, and the feeling I have that people probably think I am attention seeking (I have been accused of such, before) so when people ask me things, my answer is always 'Yeah, I'm Ok thanks' This is just a way to get it out without actually saying it to people. It's easier this way.)
[comments] => 15
[counter] => 269
[topic] => 61
[informant] => lostinmyself
[notes] =>
[ihome] => 0
[alanguage] => english
[acomm] => 0
[haspoll] => 0
[pollID] => 0
[score] => 45
[ratings] => 9
[editpoem] => 1
[associated] =>
[topicname] => selfstruggles
)
Less than me
Contributed by
lostinmyself
on
Thursday, 10th March 2005 @ 02:51:55 PM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
|
I've tried to breathe in air all day,
But I couldn't let it into me,
I somehow wanted to leave that way,
To go alone and quietly,
In silence so no one would hear me moan,
My breath coming shallow, slowly paced,
And I'd slowly fade away alone,
With nothing but my own disgrace.
Because I'm feeling less than useless,
Somehow becoming less than me,
I don't seem to care about anyone now,
And they care the same way, it seems,
So I'm just sitting locked in this corner,
While my heart plays games with my brain,
I'm messed up inside in too many ways,
But I only know that I am afraid,
So I'll slowly fade away alone,
With nothing but a shadows embrace.
..And I'll pray for someone to know the truth,
To hear my silent plea's,
'Let me be the girl I used to be,
Stop me being wrapped up in me'
But now I will just fade away,
Too afraid to say what I feel,
With nothing but my own embrace
To shield me from what's real.
(And I will fade away alone,
Because no one can know...
...That I hurt, too.)
******
(I know people get things mixed up easily on this site and I want you all to know that this is about none of you in any way whatsoever. It is about me and the problems that I have at the moment with voicing my feelings, and the feeling I have that people probably think I am attention seeking (I have been accused of such, before) so when people ask me things, my answer is always 'Yeah, I'm Ok thanks' This is just a way to get it out without actually saying it to people. It's easier this way.)
Copyright ©
lostinmyself
... [
2005-03-10 14:51:55]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Less than me
(User Rating: 1 )
by Nazmythian on
Thursday, 10th March 2005 @ 03:18:24 PM AEST
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Phil, I don't quite know what to put here ... you are always so supportive of others and must know they in turn care for you. There are many that would do all within thier power to help paint a smile upon your face that you would feel within your heart. I think you have done well with the expression of feeling here and hope it is a recalled emotion and not a current one. You can never be alone Phil, you carry a piece of each of us where ever you go.
Call on me for a smile ... I'll help you find one ... anytime.
Nazzy ~ |
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Re: Less than me
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Thursday, 10th March 2005 @ 03:52:24 PM AEST
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sometimes we must tell someone how we really feel. This broke my heart that your feeling so alone and sad though you feel like it know your never alone Im a chat away anytime you need me! Your expressed yourself with such poetic beauty
Hugsssssss
Michelle |
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Re: Less than me
(User Rating: 1 )
by mina-1 on
Thursday, 10th March 2005 @ 03:58:21 PM AEST
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A sad and emotional write Phil.
Expressed so deeply and so well.
Hope ur not feeling like this now.
Hope all goes well for you dear friend. |
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Re: Less than me
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vampirequeen on
Thursday, 10th March 2005 @ 06:31:27 PM AEST
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Aww philly.HUGS
I dont really know what to say about this piece its sad yet so true.
There are time a few of us do feel this way.
Your poem has kinda made me sad.
I feel bad that you feel so sad.
If you ever need to talk i am here for you girl.
take care |
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Re: Less than me
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 11th March 2005 @ 11:19:35 AM AEST
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A beautiful but heart-wrenching write. I can definitely relate. Sometimes I wonder whether people think i'm attention seeking, and have had one say such a year back, but then I decide to leave them to it and wish that I was attention seeking because then it wouldn't hurt, if you know what I mean. I think you do.
Stunning. Written to perfection, as yours always are, and I wish I could be there for you now. *hugs* Perhaps its something in the water, lol.
Take Care.
I'm here if you need me, with two perfectly good ears lying around here somewhere. Keep your chin up, my friend, and let it out.
- Becca |
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Re: Less than me
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 11th March 2005 @ 02:41:21 PM AEST
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You have put up with this a long time...don't give up now!
Even if you don't see it yet, there WILL be light at the end of the tunnel soon. Hang on...and lean on us your friends for we know how much more you really are. |
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Re: Less than me
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Friday, 11th March 2005 @ 02:58:05 PM AEST
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i think if we didnt feel like this sometimes we would have nothing to share with the world with our poetry, phil, thankfully you have a way of expression and believe it today or not-many friends here who love you, i know how easy it is to give way to these feelings, you have taken your pain and written something truely moving and beautiful that will touch anyone who reads it, thats what we do... express and convey, you may never realize how many your words touch, the world needs your voice, hang in there buddy, remember we love you, *big huggles* nessa
@->>->:-
p.s. i have missed chatting w/ you, but cannot get on my msn, im on yahoo though as mastiffpoem :) |
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Re: Less than me
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Friday, 11th March 2005 @ 05:59:25 PM AEST
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Phil, with all the selfless attention you give to others, I don't think anyone should see you as an attention-seeker, in the bad sense.
I think I might understand this, since I'm one who seldom seeks out comfort or a listening ear from others (why? Pride? Or a feeling of unworthiness? I'm not even sure). It's a great thing, when I get it, but it's as if I can't just ask for and recieve it. Like it is only meant for certain times...
This piece touched me. Your expression is only getting better and better, and quite powerful. Please know that I pray for you, and will do so more now. Which is about all I can give you.
May Light and peace come to you, soon.
Andrew |
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Re: Less than me
(User Rating: 1 )
by liquidsunshine on
Friday, 11th March 2005 @ 08:42:46 PM AEST
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Phil, I'm sure you remember my last little breakdown... how I felt I had no friends and such...
Your poem reminds me SO so much of what I was thinking as I lay in bed that night:
.".And I'll pray for someone to know the truth,
To hear my silent plea's,
'Let me be the girl I used to be,
Stop me being wrapped up in me'
But now I will just fade away,
Too afraid to say what I feel,
With nothing but my own embrace
To shield me from what's real.
(And I will fade away alone,
Because no one can know...
...That I hurt, too.)"
I thought that's what I would do... fade away... and my prayers wouldn't be answered no matter what...but the days to follow were a complete turn of events.
Thank you for posting this. You've reminded me to give thanks for an answered prayer.
Lots of love and peace be with you,
Chelsea
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Re: Less than me
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Saturday, 12th March 2005 @ 03:30:03 AM AEST
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How come that poem feels like you read what I am feeling right now?
This was truly an emotional poem Phil, I feel so sad that you’re down right now. You’re always there for us when where feeling down ourselves and that makes you into such a wonderful human being. You’re one of a kind Phil and that makes you into such a wonderful friend.
So don’t let anyone make you feel useless or attention seeking, because you’re not one and you never will be.
(And I will fade away alone,
Because no one can know...
...That I hurt, too.)
Those lines just hurt too much to read Phil, because I feel it every hour of everyday.
Amazing write as always expected from a true poet.
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Re: Less than me
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Saturday, 12th March 2005 @ 02:47:25 PM AEST
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As someone who has met you in person, all I could think as I read this was: "maybe... just maybe... sometimes words really aren't necessary" (which is an extraordnary thought for someone who is utterly in love with words). Philly - dear, sweet, wonderful, wonderful Philly - I saw this within you even as you were smiling. I think.... it's friendship that makes that possible. Then again - maybe it is the poetry...
Of course, I'm sure you know - that, when asked, I always report that I am "fine". So maybe... it's that.
Whichever, whatever... yeh, hon --- I believe I understand. And... I have to confess that I found this very nearly too real. Exquisitely expressed... and heartwrenching because of it.
Wishing, for once, that we weren't so similar,
~Snemmy~ |
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Re: Less than me
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Monday, 14th March 2005 @ 01:06:24 AM AEST
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i can certainly relate to this one. It's a masterpeice 'cause I think we all have such feelings at different times in our lives. it's really hard to talk about ones own inner feelings but then my friend that's what we're here for to help each other.
hang in there and keep writing.
God luv's u and so do we.
luv, huggs, prayer,
emy |
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Re: Less than me
(User Rating: 1 )
by Willofree on
Monday, 14th March 2005 @ 01:32:27 PM AEST
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Perhaps this is a poem that speaks to a feeling(s) of low self esteem. I don't know you personally, but I do read your poetry; and I envision a beautiful person inside. I am glad you shared this state you are in, it gives me a chance to say I care about how you feel and what happens to you. No, I don't see this as attention seeking, but rather, an effort to reach out. We all have an inner desire to feel we are understood and appreciated. I hope and pray that you will soon be lookiing at yourself as a worthy loving person with a lot to give, and hopefully receive as well.
Feel free to PM me at anytime.
Willofree |
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Re: Less than me
(User Rating: 1 )
by Cathy on
Monday, 21st March 2005 @ 09:56:35 AM AEST
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| this is a wonderful poem I hope this is not how you really feel but if it is your not alone i fell like that sometimes to i know lots of people who feel like that. |
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Re: Less than me
(User Rating: 1 )
by UnlovedChild on
Thursday, 24th March 2005 @ 06:17:04 AM AEST
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| Very emotional, heartfelt poem. You did an amazing job expressing your feelings. |
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