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Array ( [sid] => 84712 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Vampire [time] => 2005-02-17 07:24:06 [hometext] => [bodytext] => you
did
this
to
me

i
can
never
forgive
you
now

come
on
and
bite
my
bullet

see
if
you
can
handle
my
flames

im
going
to
come
and
get
you

no
more
silly
games

im
going
to
pop
my
head
through
your
fireplace

then
with
a
single
roar
demolish
your
house
into
skin-shuddering
fear

the
terror
will
destroy
you
piece
by
piece

im
going
to
come
to
your
bedroom
then
steal
your
dreams
into
nightmares

and
then
you
ask
"what
will
i
see
in
those
nightmares?"

i
will
show
you
in
real
life
just
bring
your
blood
filled
body
a
little
bit
closer
to
mine

strip
naked
let
my
fangs
caress
your
intimacy

ill
show
you
my
undead
pain...

jazz " [comments] => 2 [counter] => 194 [topic] => 13 [informant] => in2thetwilightzone [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => DarkPoetry )

Vampire

Contributed by in2thetwilightzone on Thursday, 17th February 2005 @ 07:24:06 AM in AEST
Topic: DarkPoetry

you
did
this
to
me

i
can
never
forgive
you
now

come
on
and
bite
my
bullet

see
if
you
can
handle
my
flames

im
going
to
come
and
get
you

no
more
silly
games

im
going
to
pop
my
head
through
your
fireplace

then
with
a
single
roar
demolish
your
house
into
skin-shuddering
fear

the
terror
will
destroy
you
piece
by
piece

im
going
to
come
to
your
bedroom
then
steal
your
dreams
into
nightmares

and
then
you
ask
"what
will
i
see
in
those
nightmares?"

i
will
show
you
in
real
life
just
bring
your
blood
filled
body
a
little
bit
closer
to
mine

strip
naked
let
my
fangs
caress
your
intimacy

ill
show
you
my
undead
pain...

jazz "

Copyright © in2thetwilightzone ... [ 2005-02-17 07:24:06]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Vampire (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Thursday, 17th February 2005 @ 09:05:00 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Nicely done. I particularly liked the line "then with a single roar demolish your house into skin-shuddering fear"

Excellent.

Take Care
- Becca

Re: Vampire (User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on Thursday, 17th February 2005 @ 09:53:42 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I really like the style you use on this.
It's a rather scary poem, but really good.
If I could suggest anything it would be to maybe swap a couple of the stanza's around.

Great write,
*hugs* Phil xxx

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