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Array
(
[sid] => 84529
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Final Breath
[time] => 2005-02-15 13:30:59
[hometext] => Please comment I would really like to know what you think
[bodytext] => She guides the knife over her wrist
Cutting through the skin
Releasing her tears and anger from within
Concentrating on the knife reaching her vein
Being powered by her emotions and feeling no pain
Knowingly she grips the knife
Knowing it will be over soon
Fully aware she is taking her life
Then she places it on the floor
Ready to start her journey into death
Anxious for this nightmare to end
Laying in a puddle of her blood
She awaits death
Thinking of her loved ones
She takes her final breath
[comments] => 10
[counter] => 218
[topic] => 36
[informant] => Jen54
[notes] =>
[ihome] => 0
[alanguage] => english
[acomm] => 0
[haspoll] => 0
[pollID] => 0
[score] => 5
[ratings] => 1
[editpoem] => 1
[associated] =>
[topicname] => Suicide
)
Final Breath
Contributed by
Jen54
on
Tuesday, 15th February 2005 @ 01:30:59 PM in AEST
Topic:
Suicide
|
She guides the knife over her wrist
Cutting through the skin
Releasing her tears and anger from within
Concentrating on the knife reaching her vein
Being powered by her emotions and feeling no pain
Knowingly she grips the knife
Knowing it will be over soon
Fully aware she is taking her life
Then she places it on the floor
Ready to start her journey into death
Anxious for this nightmare to end
Laying in a puddle of her blood
She awaits death
Thinking of her loved ones
She takes her final breath
Copyright ©
Jen54
... [
2005-02-15 13:30:59]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Final Breath
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Tuesday, 15th February 2005 @ 01:31:35 PM AEST
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sad and expressed well,
pix xx |
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Re: Final Breath
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kyarn on
Tuesday, 15th February 2005 @ 02:09:52 PM AEST
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powerful.
~Kyarn |
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Re: Final Breath
(User Rating: 1 )
by brew on
Tuesday, 15th February 2005 @ 03:45:11 PM AEST
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| Deep , Deep , Emotion.....................! |
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Re: Final Breath
(User Rating: 1 )
by xxbreathlessx on
Tuesday, 15th February 2005 @ 06:11:28 PM AEST
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there is alot of emotion in this. and i know you probably dont want a lecture but hey..they come free...dont think of this as a lecture actually..its more like advice....
ive been in your shoes before, for a long time..i've stepped out only tp step back in again and if i could teel the old me something i shoukd have realized is you only live once. thats it. one time to f*** things up, one time to fix things up, one time to cry one time to laugh becuase once you take the initiative to end your life you leave so many doors open so many memories blank and so many hearts broken. you never know what yourleaving behind...the world is BEAUTIFUL! yeah it has alot of s*** in it but is gorgeous life is a gift..enjoy it. my suggestion? get on the journey to love yourself and appreciate everything life has brought you...whether it be a million things or a single penny..treasure it. becuase let me tell you...onceyou come to terms with the person you are and the person you want to be everything seems ....better. so put the knife down and leave your wrist w/o one single scratch and Live! |
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Re: Final Breath
(User Rating: 1 )
by Spazzo on
Tuesday, 15th February 2005 @ 06:38:11 PM AEST
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Awesome poem. Very powerful and emotional.
I can totaly relate to this. I once was a cutter and suicidal. Now I am not, took a lot of effort and you know I am glad to be alive. I hope things get better for you. If you need to talk just PM if you want to.
Scott |
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Re: Final Breath
(User Rating: 1 )
by Onslaught on
Tuesday, 15th February 2005 @ 06:54:05 PM AEST
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My message is to the person of subject in this poem. There is someone out there who is in need of your love and they will love you with all of their heart in return, there is someone out there who is going to need you to help them through tough times, there is someone out there very special waiting for you.
Please do not take away the best thing in this someones life. They need you, need your love, need your arms around them, need the soul that they will see when they look into your eyes.
Do not abandon them, life is not a responsibility to be taken lightly. Live and love. That is all I can say. Peace to you and everyone you know and meet.
- Mike M. |
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Re: Final Breath
(User Rating: 1 )
by Willofree on
Wednesday, 16th February 2005 @ 05:32:17 PM AEST
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| The poem itself is very well done, with good rhythum, rhyme, and wording. Also, very emotional, and the feelings really come through. Now, if the person you are referring to in the poem is you, it concerns me.Suicide is an act of anger turned upon yourself; and it leaves a lot of shattered lives behind. I used to work with a lot of suicidal people; and for the most part they didn't really want to die, but to feel better. You need a support system, we all do. So continue to write and reach out. If you are spiritual and or religious reach our to God. If you need to talk feel free to PM me; and know that I care, as do others. |
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Re: Final Breath
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 20th May 2005 @ 07:08:24 PM AEST
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First of all, as for the poem itself, I think it is great! Powerfully written, emotionally and poetically. Your poems are not bad from a poetic frame of reference but maybe you mean they are bad as for as subject content…..as in it’s not good to take your own life and rob the others that love you of that love and the caring they have for you. Some people are not good at, or the best at, expressing themselves in the spoken word or written word….including myself but nonetheless they always care about the people they love. I hope you honestly mean it when you say “getting out my feelings” and that’s all. I cannot say that I have not had these same thoughts but they were for about thirty seconds a long time ago. Then I realized AGAIN :) how badly some people needed me in their lives.
I hope you, or “she” when “Thinking of her loved ones” knows how badly they would miss this person if this person was to leave this world. This, of course, is not a lecture...just giving my thoughts as you asked. From your perspective I'm sure you...or should I say "she" would be quite upset if the ones she cared about took thmselves from her. I'm sure that being the obviously emotional and caring person she is can see this from this perspective.
I whole heartily agree with Mike M when he says ““They need you, need your love, need your arms around them, need the soul that they will see when they look into your eyes.”
Great words spoken there.
Keep up the great poetry and know there has to be those around you that care a great deal about you. I am sure you are a great inspiration to them as your poetry is a great inspiration to me. You write very well. :)
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Re: Final Breath
(User Rating: 1 )
by MarLites on
Monday, 29th May 2006 @ 11:10:45 PM AEST
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I am not a reader of death poems but good writing.
Mary |
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Re: Final Breath
(User Rating: 1 )
by Trisha on
Tuesday, 13th June 2006 @ 10:22:07 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Awesome and loving it
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