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Array
(
[sid] => 81733
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => can't move past
[time] => 2005-01-27 14:50:32
[hometext] => i guess if i hadn't had so much to deal with i would have little to write about.....
[bodytext] => i'de like to say i've moved on now, but your voice still haunts my thoughts. i still have those restless dreams that replay my memories, i just can't seem to let it go. i'de like to think that i'm past it, its been two years since i've said a word to you, 18 months you haven't spoken to me, and nearly a year i haven't lived with you- i just can't keep thinking about it why can't i move on? put past those times you hit me, the fact that you made me think it was my fault, the fact that to this day you still justify your actions. the fact that i still have the scars. i wonder if i moved out earlier, if i would have closure... there's just too many times, too many times i said it would be the last time, too many nights i cried, and still cry myself to sleep. too many scars, too many broken dreams, and too many nights of pain. people tell me that one day i will forgive you, that it is the only way to truelly move on, they say your my father, but i disagree, you can't be, you have done nothing for me. a father would not hand his daughter a knife, and simply say, if your gunna try, do it right. a father would not give his daughter a concusion, merely for falling asleep in a chair, a father would not make his daughter continuelly fear for her life, and at the same time make her want to end it. no you can't be my father. and no i don't think i can ever forget. [comments] => 4 [counter] => 177 [topic] => 23 [informant] => hardcoreputa [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => FamilyPoems )
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