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Array ( [sid] => 81649 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => I will not [time] => 2005-01-26 21:57:58 [hometext] => Definately not like my usual writing style..but its very emotional, and definately expresses my feelings [bodytext] => Dark thoughts consume my mind.
My body violently shaking.
Trying to subside from letting my emotions out.
I will not hurt myself.
A battle between me, myself and I.
Rocking back and forth like a scared innocent child.
Maybe that's because I am.
I was once happy; joy filled every day.
It did not last; it refused to stay.
I'm back in that state of mind.
A place I know all too well.
Silently screaming for this hell to end
But I do not say a word.
I can feel my anger seep out through my fingertips.
One scratch, one sight of pain and it would end.
But I will not hurt myself again.
My pain would be back, along with regret.
Only to repeat it's cycle once more.
So I will not hurt myself.
I will pray to God that this won't last.
I will be happy; life will be wonderful.
I'll just take it one breath at a time and then I'll be fine.
There's no need to hurt myself.
I refuse.
[comments] => 4 [counter] => 192 [topic] => 13 [informant] => CAUGHTinAdream [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => DarkPoetry )
I will not

Contributed by CAUGHTinAdream on Wednesday, 26th January 2005 @ 09:57:58 PM in AEST
Topic: DarkPoetry



Dark thoughts consume my mind.
My body violently shaking.
Trying to subside from letting my emotions out.
I will not hurt myself.
A battle between me, myself and I.
Rocking back and forth like a scared innocent child.
Maybe that's because I am.
I was once happy; joy filled every day.
It did not last; it refused to stay.
I'm back in that state of mind.
A place I know all too well.
Silently screaming for this hell to end
But I do not say a word.
I can feel my anger seep out through my fingertips.
One scratch, one sight of pain and it would end.
But I will not hurt myself again.
My pain would be back, along with regret.
Only to repeat it's cycle once more.
So I will not hurt myself.
I will pray to God that this won't last.
I will be happy; life will be wonderful.
I'll just take it one breath at a time and then I'll be fine.
There's no need to hurt myself.
I refuse.




Copyright © CAUGHTinAdream ... [ 2005-01-26 21:57:58]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: I will not (User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on Wednesday, 26th January 2005 @ 10:46:38 PM AEST
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i wouldnt really know what your usual writing style is, but this worked out well. excellent message, im impressed with your skill.


Re: I will not (User Rating: 1 )
by blueyes11 on Wednesday, 26th January 2005 @ 11:58:07 PM AEST
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I like this. And its wonderful to see that you may finally be winning the battle that is storming inside you. God Bless!


Re: I will not (User Rating: 1 )
by EVERxSOxSWEET on Friday, 28th January 2005 @ 04:14:15 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
Thats really good kristen..im glad you refuse to do anything stupid! It only causes more pain! Love ya!

Kaylee


Re: I will not (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Wednesday, 2nd February 2005 @ 03:29:48 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
Nice expression of inner struggle, hopefully there are friends that could support.
But otherwise, nice format!




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