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Array ( [sid] => 77354 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => I'm sorry [time] => 2004-12-27 02:49:24 [hometext] => just started typin tell me what i need to work on [bodytext] => I never wanted you to get hurt
I'm sorry it happened
We should've stayed the night
I'm sorry I insisted
I made you go
I made you choose
Come with me or never see me again
I'm sorry it was wrong
I was wrong
I miss you more then anything in the world
I'm sorry I made you decide
I'm so sorry
I'd give anything to have you back
Healed and unharmed
It was my fault
I didn't listen
I love you and I'm sorry [comments] => 4 [counter] => 173 [topic] => 22 [informant] => stonedraider23 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 0 [associated] => [topicname] => LostLove )

I'm sorry

Contributed by stonedraider23 on Monday, 27th December 2004 @ 02:49:24 AM in AEST
Topic: LostLove

I never wanted you to get hurt
I'm sorry it happened
We should've stayed the night
I'm sorry I insisted
I made you go
I made you choose
Come with me or never see me again
I'm sorry it was wrong
I was wrong
I miss you more then anything in the world
I'm sorry I made you decide
I'm so sorry
I'd give anything to have you back
Healed and unharmed
It was my fault
I didn't listen
I love you and I'm sorry

Copyright © stonedraider23 ... [ 2004-12-27 02:49:24]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: I'm sorry (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Monday, 27th December 2004 @ 03:00:08 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I like this the way it is. It's pure honesty. Great piece.

Re: I'm sorry (User Rating: 1 )
by saint858 on Monday, 27th December 2004 @ 03:22:30 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

honesty has to be your number one thing which i like here but you cant forget your flow. for example in lines one and two maybe something like:

From:
"I never wanted you to get hurt
I'm sorry it happened"

to:
"I never wanted you in pain
I'm sorry that it happened"

and keep that tempo some what consistent. just a suggestion though, i still like it even how it is.

-Francis
saint858

Re: I'm sorry (User Rating: 1 )
by Evilcaf on Monday, 27th December 2004 @ 05:46:54 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Another good writing hun, so sad . Keep it up ...luv Caf xxx

Re: I'm sorry (User Rating: 1 )
by savedbydeath on Monday, 27th December 2004 @ 04:32:32 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

i think its great the way it is,great write keep up the great job

PS,all poetry that is straight from the heart is great,theres no need to go back and fix things,and theres no need to strive for the perfect write

savedbydeath

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