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Array
(
[sid] => 72714
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => ME AND WILLY
[time] => 2004-11-22 16:21:51
[hometext] => I Hope I Don't Get In Trouble For This...
[bodytext] => When I was a little boy,we had it pretty rough Money was the problem: we didn't have enough Me and my six brothers,we wore each others' shoes, While Mom was playin' Bingo and Dad was drunk on booze. We never had no fancy stuff like indoor plumbin',no! Right out there in the outhouse is where we had to go, We couldn't afford those games like Monopoly and Checkers So me and all my brothers,we played with our peckers Yes,I played with my pecker and I'm not ashamed to say I played with it fast and slow and every which-a-way Most men will deny it and swear that it's not right But they play with their peckers too --- probably every night I was barely six years old,they made me go to school I sat in the back row playin' with my tool One time,the teacher caught me and shouted out my name And sent me to the office --- my head was hung in shame Would I get the paddle? Or would they kick me out, As I walked into the office,my future was in doubt, Till I saw Principal Miller with his pecker in his fist, And,without any punishment,I was quietly dismissed Yes,I played with my pecker and I'm not ashamed to say I see nothin' wrong with it,it's perfectly okay! Some people don't believe this,but I swear it's not a joke: I've gotten so good I can switch hands and never miss a stroke Went to church on Sunday,I just sat there reachin' Deep inside my pocket while that man was a-preachin' Just a-yankin' and a-crankin' while he read each Bible verse One time Mama caught me and hit me with her purse The preacher stopped and looked around --- "Hey,who made that noise?" Mama fixed me with a stare that would scare all little boys "When I get you home," she hissed,"your dad'll tan your hide!" "Who do you think taught me how?" I quietly replied Yes,I played with my pecker and I'm not ashamed to say That it's my favorite thing to do on a rainy day There's no better way to insure that time slips I've got scabs and callouses all along my fingertips Little girl moved in next door,she was poor just like me No pretty toys or Barbie dolls to keep her company One day while I was strokin',she came into the yard And asked what I was doin' cause it looked kinda hard "I don't have one," she mumbled then she began to whine, My face lit up. "No need to cry,here! Borrow mine!" I remember very well,her name was Becky Decker Bet you know the next line ---she played with my pecker Yes,I played with my pecker and I'm not ashamed to say For hours and hours and hours,in bed is where I lay, With a big wide smile on my face,beads of sweat pourin' down Just jerkin' the ol' gherkin --- now tell me,would you frown? Just last week,I was drivin' home along Interstate 44, Didn't have but a couple drinks --- well,maybe a little more The radio was blarin' and I was singin' along One hand on the steerin' wheel,the other on my dong I was smilin' and a-laughin' as I went around that curve Then,my tires hit a wet spot and I went into a swerve Ran my car into a ditch,the policeman called a wrecker He asked me how it happened --- "Well...I was playin' with my pecker!" Yes,I play with my pecker and I'm not ashamed to say Even as I sit here with society's debt to pay, Most men will deny it and swear that it's not right But they play with their peckers too --- probably every night [comments] => 2 [counter] => 151 [topic] => 7 [informant] => trivking64 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => HumorPoetry )
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