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the scar upon her soul was a smile the night she died
Contributed by
Cancer
on
Friday, 19th November 2004 @ 09:40:19 PM in AEST
Topic:
Suicide
|
(and the smile upon her soul
was a scar the night she died
a smudge so easy to wipe away
no more real
than her love for me
a love i'd hoped would make her stay)
her eyes were stairways to hell
each day i probed deeper down
hoping to reach the bottom
and carry her away
before it was too late
the sound of skin slowly tearing
the near silent spash
of a drop of blood on the floor
these were the sounds of her salvation
the sound of sanity secured
for one more day
her heartbeat was a bane to her
a sorrow deeper than the plunging spiral
that her world was trapped within
the few times she let me hold her
were worth every tear
that i helplessly watched her cry
but now i see
i wasn't holding her
she was holding me
(i brought her no comfort)
and i'd like to think the angels wept
but i doubt they even cared
the night she washed her make-up off
and shaved that raven hair
in her room she sat and cried
slipping through the cracks of her broken home
slipping through the crack in her broken heart
slipping, fading, all alone
and the scar upon her soul
was a smile the night she died
the only real smile in a life lived only
to end in suicide
Copyright ©
Cancer
... [
2004-11-19 21:40:19]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: the scar upon her soul was a smile the night she died
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Friday, 19th November 2004 @ 10:28:30 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| very dark and powerful. |
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Re: the scar upon her soul was a smile the night she died
(User Rating: 1 )
by electrique_poet on
Friday, 19th November 2004 @ 10:48:05 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| incredibly dark, incredibly powerful, incredibly well written |
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Re: the scar upon her soul was a smile the night she died
(User Rating: 1 )
by bobotheclown on
Saturday, 20th November 2004 @ 12:43:58 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
I loved this... it was beautiful in a poignant,
yet disturbing way. I've missed reading you
man so it was nice to stumble across this.
Poetry at its disturbing near psychotic climax
what could be better? keep on writing buddy
Bobo (Joel) |
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Re: the scar upon her soul was a smile the night she died
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 20th November 2004 @ 05:59:22 AM AEST
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Yes, its all good (as usual) - but I must say I'm kind of annoyed that you didn't carry the R&R of the outset all the way through the poem, rather than sparing it until the ending. R&R's always going to be my preference, however - your thirst for powerful imagery is yours.
Very well done, again. I really liked the ending, also. |
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Re: the scar upon her soul was a smile the night she died
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Saturday, 20th November 2004 @ 08:28:53 AM AEST
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powerful and so emotionally dark,
pixie xx |
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Re: the scar upon her soul was a smile the night she died
(User Rating: 1 )
by Daniela_Maria_Violin on
Sunday, 21st November 2004 @ 09:44:00 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Awesome! Tragic but very well written... |
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Re: the scar upon her soul was a smile the night she died
(User Rating: 1 )
by sicknivesevered on
Saturday, 18th December 2004 @ 08:04:24 PM AEST
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a Message)
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"the few times she let me hold her
were worth every tear
that i helplessly watched her cry
but now i see
i wasn't holding her
she was holding me
(i brought her no comfort)"
Ha... that just broke my mind in two. Amazing that I never thought of it from that angle. Brilliant write. |
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