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| Welcome ! | Home · FAQ · Topics · Web Links · Your Account · Submit Poetry · Top 30 · OldSite Link | 10-June 19:33:19 AEST | ||
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Array
(
[sid] => 71196
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => You're Gone
[time] => 2004-11-12 09:23:11
[hometext] => I know that I've been writing a lot of poems about my mom, but they just really help me get everything out when I feel sad... RIP<33
[bodytext] => Now you're gone... Gone away, there to stay. It hurts me to think you're not here. It hurts me to think you're not near. You haven't been away for long, and I'm still in denial, I think you're going to come back - walk in that door, stay for some more... But I know it's just going to take a while for everything to sink in. You left me, I wasn't ready for your leave, wasn't ready to part from you, to take on the world by myself. I feel so alone, like I'm deserted in this great big world. There's only one me and so many other people out there... I know I have people here for me, people who also lost you too, but noone else depended on you like I did... I know I have people here for me, but it's not the same... They don't see... the problems I endure, or anything close to it. Now you're gone... Gone away, there to stay. I know that I say you're gone, your body resting in the ground, but I just can't seem to comprehend that you're really not here. I can still recall your warm hugs, your love and compassionate generosity. I can even still recall our last conversation... I was rushing to get away from the crazed place of your room, all the sickness crowding me... I'm sorry, for not giving you a real goodbye... I thought it would just be one of those regular times where I'd see you again, breathing and alive. I didn't even imagine that the next time I'd see you, would be your death. When people used to write about the claminess of the dead, the coldness of them too, I never really understood... but now I do. Your hands, so cold, so lifeless... so unlike the real you. Your breathing, harshly forced by a machine. You are alive, but you soul is not... and that was the last time I saw you... I saw you for the last time alive that day... You were alive, but your soul was not. I kept on telling myself that it wasn't you there that was sick; I kept on telling myself that it wasn't you drifting away... I kept on lying to myself, trying to protect my heart and soul, from your departure... I kept lying, kept lying about you, telling myself your condition was fake... I lied, and I believed myself too.... I'm so sorry... I tried telling myself that you were okay, this wasn't you, not you there, lying scared... Silently waiting, silently contemplating your leave, while keeping a calm countenance, not letting anyone know you knew... you knew your time was coming. I was so scared, so scared of losing you... Scared of what would happen... I didn't think you'd be really gone, really not here, really lifeless. It just didn't seem real, but now I feel it, I feel all the emotions coming down on me. A cold and stormy rain storm, screaming down on me... Drenching me and keeping me from comfort... Now you're gone, can't come back and I'm still scared... You're gone forever, something that nobody can reverse. I'm so sorry for not giving you a real goodbye... Because now you're gone... Gone away and there to stay... I'm so sorry. [comments] => 6 [counter] => 153 [topic] => 48 [informant] => cocacola1331 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => EmotionalPoetry )
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