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Array ( [sid] => 70697 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Intermediate Demise [time] => 2004-11-08 20:52:47 [hometext] => [bodytext] => Quiet the noise
by writing down
disappears
like never said
filters clear
through blood instead
and what doesn't feel right
is only the first thing wrong
decisions not promised
are now taking too long
and I see no movement
to dry my eyes
but simply spoken things
create intermediate demise
and I think about
everything that I ever wanted
seeing backwards
that I always got it
like lesser feelings
won over in my demands
delivered a loss
into my hands
I try to recover
and compensate
almost sure
it's just too late [comments] => 3 [counter] => 157 [topic] => 22 [informant] => Red_October [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => LostLove )

Intermediate Demise

Contributed by Red_October on Monday, 8th November 2004 @ 08:52:47 PM in AEST
Topic: LostLove

Quiet the noise
by writing down
disappears
like never said
filters clear
through blood instead
and what doesn't feel right
is only the first thing wrong
decisions not promised
are now taking too long
and I see no movement
to dry my eyes
but simply spoken things
create intermediate demise
and I think about
everything that I ever wanted
seeing backwards
that I always got it
like lesser feelings
won over in my demands
delivered a loss
into my hands
I try to recover
and compensate
almost sure
it's just too late

Copyright © Red_October ... [ 2004-11-08 20:52:47]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Intermediate Demise (User Rating: 1 )
by Kindredblood_dragon on Tuesday, 9th November 2004 @ 06:13:54 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Get the feeling of confusion in this poem, though still a cool write, just couldnt see where you were going with this.

Re: Intermediate Demise (User Rating: 1 )
by Aquaelius on Tuesday, 16th November 2004 @ 07:06:07 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I felt a little sad at the end, not sure why... but i did. thatnk you for sharing.

Aq.

Re: Intermediate Demise (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Monday, 10th January 2005 @ 01:16:27 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

If you're trying to convey the feeling of having to wait to find out what you think will be something sad, you conveyed it well. Cheers!

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