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Array ( [sid] => 66488 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Why was my Life taken Today [time] => 2004-10-07 16:21:48 [hometext] => I wrote this one a while back. I was feelin kinda down and kinda dark so... um... yea. [bodytext] => Standing in the crowd,
Afraid and alone,
Rain fallin from above,
Chilling to the bone.

A knife appears amongst the crowd,
Casting a ghastly beam,
But, alas, it is too late,
When he sees the darksteel gleam.

A gush of crimson blood,
From the wound begins to pour,
Slowly gently the victim falls,
To the concrete floor.

Traffic continues on the streets,
As if he wasn't there,
But as he bleeds his life away,
He asks why no one cares.

An angel decends from the sky,
To retrieve the wretched soul,
To take him away from this world,
To heaven, that is her goal.

She picks him up and flaps her wings,
And begins to take him away,
But still one thought crosses his mind,
"Why was my life taken today?" [comments] => 5 [counter] => 174 [topic] => 13 [informant] => Irish [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 10 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => DarkPoetry )
Why was my Life taken Today

Contributed by Irish on Thursday, 7th October 2004 @ 04:21:48 PM in AEST
Topic: DarkPoetry



Standing in the crowd,
Afraid and alone,
Rain fallin from above,
Chilling to the bone.

A knife appears amongst the crowd,
Casting a ghastly beam,
But, alas, it is too late,
When he sees the darksteel gleam.

A gush of crimson blood,
From the wound begins to pour,
Slowly gently the victim falls,
To the concrete floor.

Traffic continues on the streets,
As if he wasn't there,
But as he bleeds his life away,
He asks why no one cares.

An angel decends from the sky,
To retrieve the wretched soul,
To take him away from this world,
To heaven, that is her goal.

She picks him up and flaps her wings,
And begins to take him away,
But still one thought crosses his mind,
"Why was my life taken today?"




Copyright © Irish ... [ 2004-10-07 16:21:48]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: Why was my Life taken Today (User Rating: 1 )
by eatfresh22 on Thursday, 7th October 2004 @ 04:29:29 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
I especially liked these lines:

Traffic continues on the streets,
As if he wasn't there,
But as he bleeds his life away,
He asks why no one cares.

I completely agree with you. I often feel like that too. Such a selfish world, that no one even bothers to look anymore. A rare few actually care. And life goes on....same as it always does. I really liked this one because I could relate to it. You did well at creating a picture in my mind too. Good job.
~Carrie~


Re: Why was my Life taken Today (User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on Thursday, 7th October 2004 @ 05:08:56 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
a very well written dark write,

pixie xx


Re: Why was my Life taken Today (User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on Thursday, 7th October 2004 @ 05:42:30 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
Very sad but written like a pro. good work.
luv, huggs,
emy


Re: Why was my Life taken Today (User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on Thursday, 7th October 2004 @ 06:40:37 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
amazing write. well written. you presented this perfectly.


Re: Why was my Life taken Today (User Rating: 1 )
by Mekare on Thursday, 7th October 2004 @ 09:22:47 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
Impressive..just like the rest




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