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Array ( [sid] => 64383 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Broken... [time] => 2004-09-19 20:46:19 [hometext] => Needs some work....kinda unfinished [bodytext] => Sometimes its so hard to breathe,
A slice through my chest will bring out the best in you
Leave as I fall to my knees and choke on the words you never said
Slowly I'll crumble into whats left of my broken heart.
Watching as you walk away,
Savoring the bitter-sweetness of the words you never said....
The words I only wish were spoken [comments] => 4 [counter] => 194 [topic] => 43 [informant] => emocutie07 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 4 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => oops )

Broken...

Contributed by emocutie07 on Sunday, 19th September 2004 @ 08:46:19 PM in AEST
Topic: oops

Sometimes its so hard to breathe,
A slice through my chest will bring out the best in you
Leave as I fall to my knees and choke on the words you never said
Slowly I'll crumble into whats left of my broken heart.
Watching as you walk away,
Savoring the bitter-sweetness of the words you never said....
The words I only wish were spoken

Copyright © emocutie07 ... [ 2004-09-19 20:46:19]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Broken... (User Rating: 1 )
by xxbreathlessx on Sunday, 19th September 2004 @ 08:49:08 PM AEST
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aww how sad! i loved it. great job.

Re: Broken... (User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on Sunday, 19th September 2004 @ 09:22:00 PM AEST
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i liked this. strong write.

"Sometimes its so hard to breathe,
A slice through my chest will bring out the best in you" thats interesting to ponder about.

"Savoring the bitter-sweetness of the words you never said....
The words I only wish were spoken"
i loved the ending. something many can relate to. i like that in a write. something people can actually relate to. a strong beginning finished well with an emotional and powerful ending. or the ending so far..?

i hope when you make revisions of this to make it finished that you will do a repost and notify me of it so i can see what youve done. =]

Re: Broken... (User Rating: 1 )
by kidpoet_213 on Sunday, 19th September 2004 @ 09:47:54 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Everything u've wrote so far is awesome!! U r a great writer!!! Keep it up~
~Donna~

Re: Broken... (User Rating: 1 )
by Deleterious_Dislike on Tuesday, 2nd November 2004 @ 08:14:36 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

What really does it for me
about this poem
is the whole 'words you never said' aspect
and choking on them to
That really set it off

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