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Array ( [sid] => 62021 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => And in the Mourning [time] => 2004-08-31 04:55:16 [hometext] => this poem is about what they did to deserters in WW1. the title, and base of this poem is of the book, And in the Mourning, that concludes in this heart renching finish. [bodytext] => desertment
when your hardly aware
of the men lined up befour you

where they pin the target
right over your heart
and take aim

shellshock
allusion and confusion
are what kills in these wars

and in the mouning
larks dying
cry

"AIM"
gaze into theyre souls
but they will not put down theyre guns

as a single random fire echos
into the new dawn
of mourning

so many
die this terrible way
when mearly its not theyre fault

they must leave loved ones behind
and stare head on into death
into the hollow of a gun

on tear falls
in the mourning
as ones head drops to his chest [comments] => 3 [counter] => 172 [topic] => 57 [informant] => TwEeK [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 3 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => war )

And in the Mourning

Contributed by TwEeK on Tuesday, 31st August 2004 @ 04:55:16 AM in AEST
Topic: war

desertment
when your hardly aware
of the men lined up befour you

where they pin the target
right over your heart
and take aim

shellshock
allusion and confusion
are what kills in these wars

and in the mouning
larks dying
cry

"AIM"
gaze into theyre souls
but they will not put down theyre guns

as a single random fire echos
into the new dawn
of mourning

so many
die this terrible way
when mearly its not theyre fault

they must leave loved ones behind
and stare head on into death
into the hollow of a gun

on tear falls
in the mourning
as ones head drops to his chest

Copyright © TwEeK ... [ 2004-08-31 04:55:16]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: And in the Mourning (User Rating: 1 )
by TwEeK on Tuesday, 31st August 2004 @ 11:16:09 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Mistake Alert!

sorry, in this poem, all 4 words "mourning", in the title and throught the poem are to be spelt "Morning".
sorry for the mistake, i always seem to get the 2 mixed up!
plus given to that fact that it was early in the morning [ha! got it right there!] and i had just waken up!
i would have revised the poem, but i have already done all 3 of my allowed poems.
but hopefully a revised one will come out soon, possibly with a few extra added lines!
thanks!

Tweek

Re: And in the Mourning (User Rating: 1 )
by skyblumoon on Friday, 22nd October 2004 @ 04:06:59 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

The spelling doesn't take away from it at all. I thought it was very sad. It painted a picture in my mind and I could really see this happening.
Blu

Re: And in the Mourning (User Rating: 1 )
by EternitysLyre on Monday, 25th October 2004 @ 03:10:52 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Heart 'renching' indeed. Whenver this was comepleted, your head obviously wasn't very clear. Your mispelling merely accentuates their melocholy, and you allusions to the illusions spell disaster. Before you try at this again...get some sleep.

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