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Array ( [sid] => 61139 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Why AM I THIS WAY??? [time] => 2004-08-23 15:35:46 [hometext] => One from a while back. i was still cutting and hating my-self and blaming my-self for every thing that was going wrong in my life... PLASE HAVE A READ AND COMMENT... [bodytext] => Closed eyes, under the above life.
Already coated in blood, i take to my skin a knife.
It’s funny how, I’m such a nothing in this world,
A worthless waste of space, a scrod up little girl!

I can't lie or hide,
This life won't keep me in disguise.
Every thing open up,
Including these new cuts.

And all I feel is hate,
For every one I break!
I can't help it they come near,
Then they break me! Inside my tears,

And in the end I burst my shell!
Bringing them, on wards to hell.
And all those, who never knew pain,
Suddenly take up in flames.

When I open up, they see into my head.
Before some made fun of me, while others cut and bled.
They tell me their secrets, in exchange for mine.
and i break from their's while they break inside.

... and don't know if all their pains down to me,
i just know "i'm a twisted little freak".
those words Jasmine said, will NEVER wash away.
she said she hates me! she scolded me into this stain!

and i can't help it now,
when others come walking round.
because i'm the "PATHETIC LITTLE GIRL",
WITH "MENTAL" TWISTS, THROUGH HER WORLD.

I know the others have problems; they pull me down so far into them!
And then I get so attached emotionally, that when they blow, they scar my head.

I don't understand!
How I let them in this much.
They run round inside my head,
And with sharp thistles they touch...
And still I try to help them,
Why, the ******* do I?
And then it crushes down on me,
Until I want to die!
[comments] => 3 [counter] => 189 [topic] => 21 [informant] => deathdrop [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 4 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Lifepoems )

Why AM I THIS WAY???

Contributed by deathdrop on Monday, 23rd August 2004 @ 03:35:46 PM in AEST
Topic: Lifepoems

Closed eyes, under the above life.
Already coated in blood, i take to my skin a knife.
It’s funny how, I’m such a nothing in this world,
A worthless waste of space, a scrod up little girl!

I can't lie or hide,
This life won't keep me in disguise.
Every thing open up,
Including these new cuts.

And all I feel is hate,
For every one I break!
I can't help it they come near,
Then they break me! Inside my tears,

And in the end I burst my shell!
Bringing them, on wards to hell.
And all those, who never knew pain,
Suddenly take up in flames.

When I open up, they see into my head.
Before some made fun of me, while others cut and bled.
They tell me their secrets, in exchange for mine.
and i break from their's while they break inside.

... and don't know if all their pains down to me,
i just know "i'm a twisted little freak".
those words Jasmine said, will NEVER wash away.
she said she hates me! she scolded me into this stain!

and i can't help it now,
when others come walking round.
because i'm the "PATHETIC LITTLE GIRL",
WITH "MENTAL" TWISTS, THROUGH HER WORLD.

I know the others have problems; they pull me down so far into them!
And then I get so attached emotionally, that when they blow, they scar my head.

I don't understand!
How I let them in this much.
They run round inside my head,
And with sharp thistles they touch...
And still I try to help them,
Why, the ******* do I?
And then it crushes down on me,
Until I want to die!

Copyright Â© deathdrop ... [ 2004-08-23 15:35:46]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Why AM I THIS WAY??? (User Rating: 1 )
by Hannah_Heaven on Monday, 23rd August 2004 @ 03:50:22 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

omg how does someone express pain so easily....i can relate...i havent used a knife just a burning needle...an the pain was so high i ignored the living and now im off this abuse i can feel the world excepting me once again
i use to be nothing...noone knew my name
and for anyone to feel like that....is the worst experience....its hell and thrusting it into your flesh seems so right

you expressed this so beautifully dark
your poetry quenched my thirst and i will keep readin hopefully...to regain my ocean

thank you xx
love han xx

Re: Why AM I THIS WAY??? (User Rating: 1 )
by MLCstar on Monday, 23rd August 2004 @ 05:03:02 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

It takes a lot of courage to post something like this, even when you do not feel that way anymore. I too can relate with the feelings of deep wounds, emotional as well as physical. But I wear my scares as a reminder that wounds never leave, but they do heal.

Re: Why AM I THIS WAY??? (User Rating: 1 )
by princessA on Tuesday, 7th September 2010 @ 04:11:00 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

i can so relate to you because i used to cut my self but i stopped becuz i realized it wasnt for me

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