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Array ( [sid] => 59351 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => my victim [time] => 2004-08-08 09:41:22 [hometext] => Perhaps attacking you and beating you so badly was wrong; but everything you've ever done was cruel and beyond any right I've ever known. [bodytext] => For the pain you caused them you should pay
I inflicted physical pain and left you where you lay
But the pain I caused you didn't make up for theirs
Now here I sit in this place where no one cares
You've destroyed the life I'd just begun
But your days of lying are now done
If I must pay for what I've done to you
Then believe me you too shall pay your due
The world doesn't need your evil ways
We could live without you for the rest of our days
People like you don't deserve to live near people like me
Maybe someday soon from your own cell that too you will see
You inflicted your hatred upon us all
Now your lies have pushed you against the wall
It's your turn to lose regardless of how it turns out
This is your last lie for now everyone will know what your about
you'll never be able to hurt us again
Because of me it will come to an end


[comments] => 1 [counter] => 143 [topic] => 55 [informant] => RavenMarieKrashauna [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 3 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => dedicatedpoems )
my victim

Contributed by RavenMarieKrashauna on Sunday, 8th August 2004 @ 09:41:22 AM in AEST
Topic: dedicatedpoems



For the pain you caused them you should pay
I inflicted physical pain and left you where you lay
But the pain I caused you didn't make up for theirs
Now here I sit in this place where no one cares
You've destroyed the life I'd just begun
But your days of lying are now done
If I must pay for what I've done to you
Then believe me you too shall pay your due
The world doesn't need your evil ways
We could live without you for the rest of our days
People like you don't deserve to live near people like me
Maybe someday soon from your own cell that too you will see
You inflicted your hatred upon us all
Now your lies have pushed you against the wall
It's your turn to lose regardless of how it turns out
This is your last lie for now everyone will know what your about
you'll never be able to hurt us again
Because of me it will come to an end






Copyright © RavenMarieKrashauna ... [ 2004-08-08 09:41:22]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: my victim (User Rating: 1 )
by tlhInganHom on Sunday, 8th August 2004 @ 01:10:51 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
I like the subject, but the rhyme seems a bit forced; it makes the lines awkward with one another. Why not try writing it over without thinking about rhyme and see what you get? :-)




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