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Array
(
[sid] => 58622
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Is it love?
[time] => 2004-08-02 22:44:49
[hometext] => Please read..I've tried writing a poem but this feeling it seems that no words can express. It's sort of like a run-on poem...PLEASE read...
[bodytext] => I cannot believe this is happening...again. I mean, you just see a hope flash before your eyes and when you blink it's gone. Like, just a secret I meant to keep or a story I meant to write just slips away..all in a couple of hours.There's just some times in life when you feel so miniscule... ...so small...and you feel so blissfully unaware that the days are passing you by...like eternity just keeps knocking on your door and you just leave it there waiting...living in the past without any other choice. I mistake this feeling for love...I must be a fool. I feel like I'm frozen within timeless doubt. I don't know how to explain this feeling. I love him so much... ...and for a second it's like a game...like pretend. The game that you play when you are six or seven years old. When I'm with him it's like everything's perfect..and yet everything isn't. Like a rose withering before your eyes you feel like everything around you is fading away...yet you are the only thing that is fading. Darkness creeps into the hollow crevices that once were peircing memories. You feel a sense of abounding emptiness that once was strength. Knowing that I have no power over the past leaves me no power at all... and the tears just don't seem wet anymore but seem like sand grinding my face into ash...I feel like I am dead... It's almost like a dream at first..and then I wake up. He approaches me..he says hello...we make feeble conversation and then he is gone doting upon someone else. All the while I am fading...yet he will never see. He will never know of the pain that shrieks his name within my mind. A silent, shrill, menacing reminder of how things were...and how things weren't. He means so much to me...and I so little to him. With every passing moment his picture in my mind grows clearer like the rising sun...and my picture in his mind dimineshes like a clouded moon..with every passing moment I become an illusion...and he becomes my only reality. All I want is for him to swallow these half-empty words that spew from my mouth before time races on and I transform into dust before his feet. I want to become real again so that I may feel the warmth of his touch and he may say to me, "Hello"...and I would live in his memory forever...where I truly belong... Yeah, but I'm just kidding myself. It's nice to pretend that we're at least friends...but in reality he has so many why should I make a difference. Why should someone like me have an impact on his life. It's nice to dream... ...but it's time to wake up and smell the dead roses... [comments] => 1 [counter] => 168 [topic] => 24 [informant] => frozenfire [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => LoveRemembered )
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