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Array ( [sid] => 54593 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => My Path of Restitution [time] => 2004-07-02 23:26:17 [hometext] => As a Christian, I have 2 major struggles. The conflicting pain every time I screw up is what I'm feeling right now. So I wrote this. I don't know if anyone will understand it. [bodytext] => Conflicting.
Desire red screams upon a canvas,
streaks of pain in the rose colored glass.
Deserving.
Rip it up, tear it into shreds,
end the misery brought up.
At fault.
Long for eradication of the false asnwers,
for the ending of all this guilt inside.
Fighting.
The desire growing too painful to comprehend,
seems I'm always with one sin or the other.
Failing.
Consumed as the hands of this awful sin grope,
lost in the maze of this desert, arid without hope.
Pleading.
If only I could reach the real Saviour.
If only my guilt could be erased.
Falling.
Crashing knees against the floor and build a bruise,
screaming wrenching sobs to the ceiling.
Silence.
Broken as a sacrifice, nothing left to present,
consumed by two thorns in the side.
Collapsed.
Releasing the pain within this soul,
to the only one who knows.
Confusion.
How can one so blameless stand the sight of me?
How can you return me to your arms so easily?
Conviction.
You paid for those sins; you suffered the agony.
Forgiveness, so difficult to accept.
Grace.
Given so much more than I ever desired, deserved;
proven nothing I can do can change your love for me.
Washed.
So purely white, like snow.
Released from the guilt but shame still remains.
Regret.
Tears stream in longing to make it up to you.
Collapse upon the floor, find what you deserve.
Sacrifice.
Release my hold on me,
relinquish all I am.
Fall before the only one who could ever make this horror right;
fall before and pray for hope, for a future beyond these awful scars
inside and out.
Give all control over, no longer my own master.
Finished.
Your work continuing in me,
"NEVER SHALL I LEAVE YOU."
Remember.
Remember this for next time when the demons start to call.
Remember before the next time, and before the Saviour fall. [comments] => 3 [counter] => 153 [topic] => 61 [informant] => waos [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 10 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => selfstruggles )

My Path of Restitution

Contributed by waos on Friday, 2nd July 2004 @ 11:26:17 PM in AEST
Topic: selfstruggles

Conflicting.
Desire red screams upon a canvas,
streaks of pain in the rose colored glass.
Deserving.
Rip it up, tear it into shreds,
end the misery brought up.
At fault.
Long for eradication of the false asnwers,
for the ending of all this guilt inside.
Fighting.
The desire growing too painful to comprehend,
seems I'm always with one sin or the other.
Failing.
Consumed as the hands of this awful sin grope,
lost in the maze of this desert, arid without hope.
Pleading.
If only I could reach the real Saviour.
If only my guilt could be erased.
Falling.
Crashing knees against the floor and build a bruise,
screaming wrenching sobs to the ceiling.
Silence.
Broken as a sacrifice, nothing left to present,
consumed by two thorns in the side.
Collapsed.
Releasing the pain within this soul,
to the only one who knows.
Confusion.
How can one so blameless stand the sight of me?
How can you return me to your arms so easily?
Conviction.
You paid for those sins; you suffered the agony.
Forgiveness, so difficult to accept.
Grace.
Given so much more than I ever desired, deserved;
proven nothing I can do can change your love for me.
Washed.
So purely white, like snow.
Released from the guilt but shame still remains.
Regret.
Tears stream in longing to make it up to you.
Collapse upon the floor, find what you deserve.
Sacrifice.
Release my hold on me,
relinquish all I am.
Fall before the only one who could ever make this horror right;
fall before and pray for hope, for a future beyond these awful scars
inside and out.
Give all control over, no longer my own master.
Finished.
Your work continuing in me,
"NEVER SHALL I LEAVE YOU."
Remember.
Remember this for next time when the demons start to call.
Remember before the next time, and before the Saviour fall.

Copyright © waos ... [ 2004-07-02 23:26:17]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: My Path of Restitution (User Rating: 1 )
by faith_my_eyes on Saturday, 3rd July 2004 @ 12:09:30 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Brilliant! I applaud this and give God the glory for these words! A truly touching, raw, and truthful write. Such an amazing portrait of redemption. Add 1 JOHN 1:9 and Psalm 32:1 to your repretoire when you fall and fear to seek God.
In Christ,
Em
P.S. Christ is amazing, isn't He?

Re: My Path of Restitution (User Rating: 1 )
by bobotheclown on Saturday, 3rd July 2004 @ 01:33:51 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

amazing Kara I loved this. You seem to have grasped that God has forgiven you of your sins and wiped away all your failures real or imagined and u just need to accept that. Once again I loved this keep your amazing writing it is an inspiration to me.

Bobo (Joel)

Re: My Path of Restitution (User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on Saturday, 3rd July 2004 @ 10:16:03 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

beautiful expression of feelings, wonderfully vivid images, hugs n' love nessa

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