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Everlasting
Contributed by
Bones
on
Friday, 2nd July 2004 @ 02:41:59 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
My dreams are disapearing into time
Because I nothing to deream about
Except your face
How could I be so blind
Someday will be here
(Together)
Forgot about the sin and thoughts hidden within
I have nothing to live for
Except you
Not enough evidence of my existance
I've forgotten your promises
I've sinned against God
Too many times
Now time's up
I can't feel my face
Don't destory the innocent
Mortals tend to leave are train of thought behind
My body is only mortal
Copyright ©
Bones
... [
2004-07-02 14:41:59]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Everlasting
(User Rating: 1 )
by Oriana on
Friday, 6th August 2004 @ 01:12:25 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
I think Everlasting is really good overall just a few spelling mistakes. I hope you don't mind me pointing them out in case you didn't notice them whe typing.
Second line first stanza-because I *have* nothing left to live for
Second stanza second line- Did you mean will as in it will come or will as in we will?
I`m asking so I`m not going you something you might not use.
I apologize for it being so long, but thanks for taking time to read it. |
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