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Array ( [sid] => 52839 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => The War Field [time] => 2004-06-20 09:04:16 [hometext] => Another metaphorical poem [bodytext] => I would be afraid to come home
In fear of what I might see there
I would hide in my room
Like a bomb shelter it would protect me from WW3 outside
But bombs are loud and I would hear them crashing on to my mothers neck like it was the war field
He was the soldier
She was the civilian
As he fought
She felt the pain

Then one night the war reached its climax
The soldiers bomb exploded killing the civilian
He didnt care
He climbed the hill to find the next civilian

But I had already fled. [comments] => 3 [counter] => 198 [topic] => 66 [informant] => Dying_angel_2 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 9 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => drugabuse )
The War Field

Contributed by Dying_angel_2 on Sunday, 20th June 2004 @ 09:04:16 AM in AEST
Topic: drugabuse



I would be afraid to come home
In fear of what I might see there
I would hide in my room
Like a bomb shelter it would protect me from WW3 outside
But bombs are loud and I would hear them crashing on to my mothers neck like it was the war field
He was the soldier
She was the civilian
As he fought
She felt the pain

Then one night the war reached its climax
The soldiers bomb exploded killing the civilian
He didnt care
He climbed the hill to find the next civilian

But I had already fled.




Copyright © Dying_angel_2 ... [ 2004-06-20 09:04:16]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: The War Field (User Rating: 1 )
by 01_zanzebar on Sunday, 20th June 2004 @ 09:21:59 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

fantastic usage of dialect and possitioning, more lenght and i could of given 5/5, thisis one hell of a good peice, fantastic, well done

:D

rowan


Re: The War Field (User Rating: 1 )
by Pyrofungus on Wednesday, 23rd June 2004 @ 06:12:32 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
thats so sad...great job

please comment on my work too
Summer


Re: The War Field (User Rating: 1 )
by wakegurl77 on Friday, 2nd July 2004 @ 11:37:24 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
great write.... so tragic...
Allways Sincere
Wakegurl




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