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Array
(
[sid] => 52417
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => bottles
[time] => 2004-06-17 14:36:55
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => i hop out of the car and slam the door shut i race in the house and wipe the tears away quickly withought caring i answer my mom i walk quietly to the computer and log on talk on there doesn't help much im still depressed i trudge to my room and turn on my red light i put in a cd and lay down and cry loudly i grab my mountain dew and pour into my mouth my throat stngs as i swallow but i get an idea i walk over to my safe where my secret stash is i throw 7 pills in my mouth and swallow quickly i wait about 1/2 an hour lying in bed, thoughts racing i still feel like crap and my depression continues i realize there's nothing left to live for no reason to stay i hold the bottle in my hand theres 57 left i grab my pop and throw some in my mouth quickly each time i toss in 5 so i can swallow easier 25 of them have been launched down my throat my pop runs out and i use spit to get the pills down my body is weak and i have little engery left to use wiht my lack of energy i climb the 15 stairs going up i open the fridge door and find my bottle of apple juice clenching the railing in my weak hand i follow the stairs down slowly and wearily i go back over to my nice warm futon i lay my head on the pillow and grasp my pills pick up my apple juice in my other hand and raise it take a drink and this time throw in 8 cold hard pills i pop the pills over and over until theres 3 left my eyelids are like weights and try so hard to close slowly and painfully thinkin of friends i swallow the remaining pills then i close my eyes and drop the two bottles on the floor my heart slows down and my breathing stops ive finally got whta ive always wanted. to be dead [comments] => 4 [counter] => 166 [topic] => 36 [informant] => deadbloodyrose [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Suicide )
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