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Array
(
[sid] => 51109
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Internal River
[time] => 2004-06-09 10:46:52
[hometext] => I'm not suicidal I just write like I am.
[bodytext] => Even though they cannot see the river flowing through me, it reminds me of the pain and the things that I can't be. No matter what I do, no matter what I say, they rip away my life, they try to throw it all away. I know they think I'm worthless and the future that I live for, but they don't seem to realize that I'm farther from the shore. I need a boat to save me, I'll get too weak to float. But do they really care? They most definitely don't. I care about a lot of things and everyone I know, but there's just one person of them all who helps me stay afloat. They can slash at my spirit, they can tear at my soul, but at least I can forget that the river water's cold. Many days I'm happy but many more I'm not. This one person's always there, it really means a lot. Thank you very very much but the river's flowing fast. I love it that you're here but how much longer will I last? The deeper that it rises, the weaker that I get, until I get too weak, until I need a rest. I'm too scared to let go of all the hope that I have that soon I'll escape and then I can laugh. But the longer I wait, the farther my sanity sinks, til I can't reach the surface and there's no way to breathe. There's no one to notice, not even you. I really didn't know this would come so soon. I love you, I'll miss you forever on, I hope that they're happy now that I'm gone. [comments] => 3 [counter] => 199 [topic] => 36 [informant] => AnaBanana [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 10 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Suicide )
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