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Array
(
[sid] => 49771
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => CANCEL YOUR CREDIT CARDS BEFORE YOU DIE!
[time] => 2004-05-30 22:50:21
[hometext] => This is could happen to you too!
[bodytext] =>  "CANCEL YOUR CREDIT CARDS BEFORE YOU DIE!" My Aunt died this past January. CitiBank billed her for February and March. A monthly charge on her card, not cheaply Added also late fees and interest, stiff starch! When she died her balance was zero. Now it was around $60 dollars, terrible blow! I placed the following phone call to CitiBank. Me: "I'm calling to tell you in January she died, this is not a prank! CBk: "The account was never closed. The late fees and charges wtill apply! Me: "Maybe turn it over to collections if this is disclosed?" CVk: "It's already been turned over to collections, this bill is high! Me: "So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?" CBk: "Report her to the frauds division, or the Credit Bureau Head!" Me: "Do you think God is going to be mad at her?" CBk: "Excuse me? " Me: "Did you get the part about her being dead?" CBk: "Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor!" (Supervisor gets on the phone) Me: "I'm calling to tell you she is dead, are you the head?" CBk: "The account was never closed, so I can't give you an answer!" Mr: "You mean you will collect from her estate?" CBk: "Stammer......are you her lawyer for the late....huh...?" Me:,. "No, I'm her great niece!" CBk: "Could you fax a certificate of death for release?" Me: "Sure." CBk: Our system is not set up for death. It's very secure!" Me: "Oh....?" CBk: "I don't know what more I can do?" Me: 'Well....if you figure it out Great! If not, you could just keep billing her.....I suppose...don't think she will care, do you?" CBk: "Well the late fees and charges do still apply!" Me: "Well, would you like her new billing address before I say goodbye?" CBk: "Yes, that would help us!" Me: "Birchfield Memorial Gardens, no address, it's houseless!" CBK: "Sir, that's a cemetery.....but.....? Me: "What do you do with dead people on your planet?" Me:  Is it any wonder I drink? The story is not mine, but the poem is. However; I've had this same thing happen to me!!! Cheri Cam LeBren May 30, 2004 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ This happens today because no one can think on their own....... It's all Company Policy......... Start with a cage containing five monkeys. Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string, and place a set of stairs under it. Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs, and start to climb towards the banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the other monkeys with cold water. After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with the same result; all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water! Pretty soon, when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it. Now, put away the cold water. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his surprise and horror, all of the other monkeys attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tried to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted!!! Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The precious newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm! Likewise, replace a third original monkey with a new one, then a fourth, then the fifth. Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs, he is attacked. Most of the monkeys that are beating him have no idea why they are not permitted to climb the stairs or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey!!! After replacing all of the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys have ever been sprayed with cold water, Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs to try for the banana. Why not? Because as far as they know that's the way it's always been done around here. And, that, my friends, is how a company policy begins!!!! "Frustrating Smiles!" [comments] => 7 [counter] => 154 [topic] => 7 [informant] => lovingcritters [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => HumorPoetry )
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