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Array
(
[sid] => 47325
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => If i was still that way
[time] => 2004-05-13 11:28:24
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => killing the pain, flirting with suicide stuck in a place where love and hate coincide desperation sticks to your skin like sweat wishing i was somewhere else the night we met battered and bruised with shattered bones stinging inside my heart like scorpions lose, regret, remorse, and a million more feelin's but only feelings in which satan condones if i was still that way, i would cut myself to see if i still bled if i could still say, i would kill myself just to get ahead if i was to leave, who would be the ones to miss me if my death was concieved, who would give their last kiss to me sometimes it hurts too much to breath most times i feels to right to leave theres no reason anymore for me to grieve just let me go away, please just let me be the hate inside my heart is overflowing into my mind i've tried everything i could, theres nothing else i can find this hate surrounds my life every second of the day you can do whatever you want to me, i dont care anyway i dont regret any of my choices, just the things i havent done nothing can change the way i am, not even god's lost son how is it possible for me to hate everyone and everything and how i hate every little thing my life may bring ever since i started breathing my life has been torn wishing all of this was a dream and i'd awake as a newborn [comments] => 3 [counter] => 173 [topic] => 36 [informant] => valek [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Suicide )
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