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Array ( [sid] => 42084 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Locked Within [time] => 2004-04-06 21:26:21 [hometext] => This poem is a very personal one. I'd really appreciate some feedback from you guys. [bodytext] => This cold canyon which forms the groundwork of my heart
remains a barren wasteland, as it always has been.
Any attempt I make to bring back a spark of life
is met with failure almost instantly.
Friends, family, love....none of these things hold any significance to me. They're simply lights
which pulse and weave briefly
in the fabric of my being, before flickering out
as would a candle.
Many different emotions lay buried,
unable to be drawn out.
Even when standing in the bright sunshine,
I feel as though a pounding rain drowns my vision,
unmerciful, unrelenting, unmanageable.
These visions of my past drift into nothingness,
as they are replaced with an emptiness
in my soul that I fear
will never be filled.
The emotions which should be felt
bear no implication of who and what I should be,
as my childhood collapses around me,
innocence irretrievably lost.
The ashes of my youth have long since disappeared.
And these emotions that I still supress, shall continue to be feared. [comments] => 4 [counter] => 169 [topic] => 13 [informant] => MrWrite [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 15 [ratings] => 3 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => DarkPoetry )

Locked Within

Contributed by MrWrite on Tuesday, 6th April 2004 @ 09:26:21 PM in AEST
Topic: DarkPoetry

This cold canyon which forms the groundwork of my heart
remains a barren wasteland, as it always has been.
Any attempt I make to bring back a spark of life
is met with failure almost instantly.
Friends, family, love....none of these things hold any significance to me. They're simply lights
which pulse and weave briefly
in the fabric of my being, before flickering out
as would a candle.
Many different emotions lay buried,
unable to be drawn out.
Even when standing in the bright sunshine,
I feel as though a pounding rain drowns my vision,
unmerciful, unrelenting, unmanageable.
These visions of my past drift into nothingness,
as they are replaced with an emptiness
in my soul that I fear
will never be filled.
The emotions which should be felt
bear no implication of who and what I should be,
as my childhood collapses around me,
innocence irretrievably lost.
The ashes of my youth have long since disappeared.
And these emotions that I still supress, shall continue to be feared.

Copyright © MrWrite ... [ 2004-04-06 21:26:21]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Locked Within (User Rating: 1 )
by thumper on Tuesday, 6th April 2004 @ 10:28:46 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

This write speaks to me of an immense emptiness, a void. I know the feeling or is it even a feeling? Emptiness? Drowning in unfeeling. If this is not the intent of this poem please let me know. Good write, very intense.
Thumps ; 0 )

Re: Locked Within (User Rating: 1 )
by corrupted_minds on Wednesday, 7th April 2004 @ 01:22:16 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

In your poem you said, "Friends, family, love....none of these things hold any significance to me." I always thought that friends and family were the one thing you kept close to you. And love the one thing you yearn to have. My opinion only. Good write, great emotions.. welldone

Re: Locked Within (User Rating: 1 )
by Rakerman1999 on Wednesday, 7th April 2004 @ 06:01:05 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

You have a great talent for expressing the dark emotions.

Very well done
Larry

Re: Locked Within (User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on Thursday, 1st July 2004 @ 05:15:32 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

This is very vivid and well-written. And a terrible sort of darkness it is. I hope you find Light.
Take care.
Andrew

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