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Array ( [sid] => 40653 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => my suicide [time] => 2004-03-28 14:47:05 [hometext] => Well this is the first poem i have ever written. Its actually more of a song. it means alot to me and i hope you like it. [bodytext] => I tried to show you how i feel.
I guess that i just couldnt deal.
Now im gone and you dont know why.
You should have known i wanted to die.

This pain is just too strong
Why is this happening to me?
I have done nothing wrong.
You were too blind to see
that deep down you were hurting me.
The walls you've put up and the castles you've built still could not have hidden your guilt.

I cried in my room up so high,
only you can make me want to die.
So now i sit with this gun in my hand.
My dying wish is of one demand.
Tell my father i love him so
and that i had never really wanted to go.
[comments] => 10 [counter] => 316 [topic] => 36 [informant] => whocares [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Suicide )

my suicide

Contributed by whocares on Sunday, 28th March 2004 @ 02:47:05 PM in AEST
Topic: Suicide

I tried to show you how i feel.
I guess that i just couldnt deal.
Now im gone and you dont know why.
You should have known i wanted to die.

This pain is just too strong
Why is this happening to me?
I have done nothing wrong.
You were too blind to see
that deep down you were hurting me.
The walls you've put up and the castles you've built still could not have hidden your guilt.

I cried in my room up so high,
only you can make me want to die.
So now i sit with this gun in my hand.
My dying wish is of one demand.
Tell my father i love him so
and that i had never really wanted to go.

Copyright © whocares ... [ 2004-03-28 14:47:05]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: my suicide (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Sunday, 28th March 2004 @ 02:53:59 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Ive had similliar feelings,
I know now that I would never go through with it,
I hope you don't have to dwell on those feelings again.

good write

Re: my suicide (User Rating: 1 )
by arden on Sunday, 28th March 2004 @ 02:55:27 PM AEST
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oh this is so sad and very dark. deep stuff i like this alot. well done
Arden

Re: my suicide (User Rating: 1 )
by deathdrop on Sunday, 28th March 2004 @ 02:57:57 PM AEST
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year, i love this, it's soo good!
suicidalness hangs upon you like a curse and never lets you go really. but hang on until the point or let some one notice if you want out!

Re: my suicide (User Rating: 1 )
by poet_of_anger on Sunday, 28th March 2004 @ 03:08:03 PM AEST
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Very well written, it would make for a great song. And for the first poem that you have ever written, this is very impressive, nice job.

Re: my suicide (User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on Sunday, 28th March 2004 @ 03:08:17 PM AEST
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beautiful expression of feelings, warm welcome to ypdc, hugs n' love nessa

Re: my suicide (User Rating: 1 )
by MrWrite on Sunday, 28th March 2004 @ 03:26:19 PM AEST
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Wow. This was extremely well written, and the emotions you conveyed went straight to my heart. Well done, my friend.

Re: my suicide (User Rating: 0 )
by Former_Member on Sunday, 28th March 2004 @ 03:37:16 PM AEST
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This would really be great for a song. I can just immagine it will the guitars and everything. Good work, Bella. It seemed to go through a lot of people's hearts. We can all relate...

-xxx- Rally

Re: my suicide (User Rating: 1 )
by Mortis-Dark on Sunday, 28th March 2004 @ 03:41:22 PM AEST
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I like how you knew how to put blind emotion into this piece. It carrys a rhythm and has more than moral meaning. Great Write !!!!

(V)ortis-Dark

Re: my suicide (User Rating: 1 )
by Soulpoetry on Monday, 5th April 2004 @ 04:43:58 PM AEST
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Great Write!!!!

Re: my suicide (User Rating: 0 )
by Former_Member on Sunday, 11th April 2004 @ 01:10:28 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

This is a really great poem for being your first. I woulds like to see how all of your other poems end up like! Keep up the great work!!

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