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Array
(
[sid] => 37532
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Fear
[time] => 2004-03-05 23:42:36
[hometext] => This is kindof a weird poem. Read it for yourself.
[bodytext] => I refuse to eat. I can’t be beat. I'll lose less than you. We're the same in what we do. Eat little, chew gum; it's the same routine. What I would give just to be lean. I hate what we are going through. We need to tell someone but who? Every bite of food feels like a sin. Everyday we weigh-in. I have a fear of being fat. I want my stomach to be flat. If our fear were to get out. No one would understand what it's about. This fear is very unhealthy. To avoid being fat we keep busy. We watch people eat food, And wish we could be rescued. We hate living like this, I wish I could just live in bliss. We put our body through so much stress. Our lives are honestly one big mess. Perfectionism it's a horrible thing to believe. We think that we need to be perfect to achieve. Parents, another pressure. Our lives sometimes feel like torture. I can't stand living this fear. I wish I could see the truth in the mirror. I want to be loved and cared for. Because everyone deserves that, maybe more. I never feel hungry at all. To avoid eating I stall. Sleep a lot and you will see, You will start eating differently. We have our tricks to avoid our fear. We want to live normal, happy and cheer. If you don't understand our fear very well, Don't ask questions and please don’t tell. There is a lot more that I wont say. The pain we go through day by day. We need to get help, this I know, Our weight loss is beginning to show. Our lives have changed; never can we go back, For there are so many nutrients that we lack. I know there is more, from what we share. But just know that I do care. I hate this fear with all my heart, We need to get help, but where to start? I've told a few people, you have too. But I’m just worse and so are you. I want this fear to go away. For living on this world I want to stay. September 1, 2003 [comments] => 2 [counter] => 293 [topic] => 48 [informant] => perfection [notes] => (Edited by mod_10 as requested) [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 0 [associated] => [topicname] => EmotionalPoetry )
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