Poems On Site: 198,500+ Comments On Poems: 427,000+ Forum Posts: 105,000+ |
Custom Search
|
|
||||
Welcome ! | Home · FAQ · Topics · Web Links · Your Account · Submit Poetry · Top 30 · OldSite Link | 10-June 17:31:33 AEST | ||
|
||||
|
||||
|
|
Array
(
[sid] => 37523
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => I'll Kill Myself For Your Happiness
[time] => 2004-03-05 22:25:58
[hometext] => Don't feel bad...
[bodytext] => At first, when something makes me happy, it feels good. I do it as often as I want, guilt free. But then I second guess what I’m doing or what I’m saying. I always bug people, I don’t want to hurt them anymore, make them unhappy. So then I restrain myself, though people say I’m doing nothing wrong, that they enjoy hearing from me. I tell myself I believe them, but I really don’t. I bottle it up inside. I don’t deserve to be happy, it causes others pain. Nothing good can come from hope, only disappointment. I make myself miserable, telling myself I’m making others happy. I isolate myself from them, or at least I try. But I never do it well enough, so I must hurt myself, in punishment. Now others can be happy. Everyone’s sad lately. I think it’s because of me. I think I bothered them to death. I’m so sorry I did this, how can I apologize? I’ve caused so much pain, so much sadness. It tears me up inside. I know how to make it better. I know how to make EVERYONE happy. I take the gun to my head and shoot myself. Now everyone’s free of me. Now everyone can be happy, living pleasant lives, now that I’m gone. [comments] => 1 [counter] => 172 [topic] => 36 [informant] => WorthlesSanity666 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Suicide )
|