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untitled
Contributed by
garyh
on
Thursday, 4th March 2004 @ 07:42:45 PM in AEST
Topic:
Grief
|
Strong and sober times of old
Walking, creeping towards inner time
Small cravings across the land
Wondering, thinking till time has come
Feelings amongst those of old
Haunted now and structured future
Scent of ranched tyranny
Fill the air
Touch of gold left behind
Growing pains and slender bliss
Crying lower beneath the skin
Tears pouring, listening to all was done
Nothing comes or goes
Nothing seems to change
All is still the same
Copyright ©
garyh
... [
2004-03-04 19:42:45]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: untitled
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostchild on
Thursday, 4th March 2004 @ 07:59:59 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
| Offhand, no specific title comes to mind.........but the images your words create are soul-stirring. I'm a newbie, so I can't give you a whole lot of criticism, but this one definately resinates within me. |
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Re: untitled
(User Rating: 1 )
by Daniela_Maria_Violin on
Thursday, 4th March 2004 @ 08:25:45 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I don't see any cliches besides "Nothing seems to change, all is still the same" but it fits well, I suggest you leave it as is.
as for the title "Towards Inner Time" ??
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Re: untitled
(User Rating: 1 )
by Cynthia on
Thursday, 8th April 2004 @ 11:12:32 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Excellent write. Just leave it the way it is. I really wouldn't know what to title it. *S* Cynthia |
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