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Array
(
[sid] => 3615
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Regrets
[time] => 2002-09-10 10:12:58
[hometext] => Speakin' from the heart.
[bodytext] => (Why’d it take so long)
Why’d it take so long For me to finally see That you didn’t really love me I was blinded by your beauty I thought you loved me truly But no Just like that you let me go I regret loving you so That pain you caused you’ll never know I shoulda stopped loving her long ago But I didn’t and I paid the price For giving her my all and being nice Shoulda saw through her shoulda looked twice But I was blinded I saw what I wanted to I regret wasting my time chasing her Now I gotta waste time erasing her From my mind For all time But it’s hard Cuz she’s fine I regret loving her To my brother and sis Who I always made ***** I made fun of ‘em about that and this Gave ‘em a bunch of put-downs and B.S. I’m sorry y’all I was full of it And no matter what I do I can’t forget How I made y’all feel, sent you into a fit Used to pull out your chair when you tried to sit I’m sorry sis for ruining your softball glove It’s a horrible memory I always think of I’m sorry bro for not showin’ you enough love No kisses, no “I Love Yous”, no hugs I stole y’alls money got y’all grounded too many times I can’t take back words that I sounded too many times Said y’all were fat and round too many times Used to threaten y’all to get pounded too many times I know these lines don’t change years of pains I caused I can’t create memories never made and forever lost I didn’t think that missing time would come at such a cost I regret not loving my sister and bro To the number one girl who treated me the best These words I gotta say and get off my chest When you left my life happiness was less I took our whole friendship into an ugly mess You were the best girl that was ever in my life A million times I swore you’d be my wife With you around things felt better than right In my life you were the brightest light But I threw it away because of Jealousy I was scared that you still loved you ex All that envy was incredibly stupid of me It’s too late now but I finally see I wish I could have those great moments again You ain’t even gotta be my girl, just my friend As long as you in my life when it comes to an end Because you were always one out there with a hand to lend I loved you so much and when I left I was lost This time the pain and loss I caused I shoulda known losin’ you would come at such a cost I regret not loving you when I had you Sorry Mom and Dad I took so long to grow up I didn’t understand that what you did was for my best You loved me more and more I thought you loved me less and less Compared to other parents you were worse than the rest I thought wanted me to fail on the journey of life my quest But it was always the other way around I see that today You taught me that life wasn’t always gonna go my way And despite my bad behavior you’d listened to what I’d say But with bad behavior come nights at home on Saturday and Friday You tried to show me the way the world works so I wouldn’t fail All you wanted was for to the succeed, achieve my dreams, prevail You always tried to push me along on life’s treacherous trail When I was at camp, every day that was a letter from you in the mail Out of your 3 kids I was probably the most trouble, the rotten egg Every night you’d come home and I’d turn everything to a rotten day I’d yell, complain, fight, steal, cheat, break valuables, make you cry, run away And every time I came back you told me you wanted me to stay Lookin’ back on the years, months, weeks, and day of my past I see now, and realize that all I was to you two was an a** I regret being the ungrateful kid that I was To someone who was a best friend I didn’t make her feel like she was I dunno why it was just because I had to have someone I could kick around It was her, but with every kick she was nicer still Sometimes it got to me I thought she was pressed But despite that, times without her I was depressed She always told me I was talented and boosted my confidence But I coulda swore that all she was, was an honest witch She wrote about me the way I wrote about my ex-love I knew about it and never gave her as much as a hug These days I was an jerk are all that I can think of I made up a nickname for her that I wish I could take back Because now she is known by my friends as “Hairy Sac” I never that a little joke would amount to that I shoulda cut her a lot more slack Cuz all she wanted was to be my friend I treated her so bad I’m surprised she didn’t make her life end But here I am with a million apologies to send I regret not being able to see I treated her the same way a girl I hate treated me To myself who I never let come out I was too scared to be who I really am I was scared that I wouldn’t be a man I kept myself bottled inside, never to be let out I had to kill the inner me so he wouldn’t get out So I became this arrogant selfish dike But what I became was what the majority did like But there were a half dozen who did not like what I had become And those were the ones that I needed for life to mean something Because if those people were not with me I would be nothing I’m sorry to myself for night listening to the angel side of my heart Killed it, shut it, now it’s locked in the dark It’s been so long I don’t know if I can ever go back To being Matthew instead of Matt The alter-ego I am is so hard to resist He is the only part of me that exists The fact that the good part of me is what I forget Is what has created each and every last regret [comments] => 2 [counter] => 196 [topic] => 21 [informant] => PhewNo [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Lifepoems )
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