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| Welcome ! | Home · FAQ · Topics · Web Links · Your Account · Submit Poetry · Top 30 · OldSite Link | 10-June 20:43:21 AEST | ||
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Array
(
[sid] => 36125
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Defeat
[time] => 2004-02-24 14:40:28
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => I cry again, my tears fall down. To scared to sleep, I lay awake. To tired to describe. I just want to hide. All I've heard for the past three days, Is yelling and endless fights. Now I cry every night it seems. Time slips away I just don't notice. Not looking forward to what tomorrow brings. So tired, can't sleep, to many bad dreams. Remembering every bad thing that's ever happened to me. The urge to cut. But I'm to tired to try. I watch as friend after friend burns and dies. It's two a.m. I still don't sleep. Burning inside the bad things I keep. Waiting for a miracle to come to me. Wanting peace for my family. Finding none, I begin to break and cry. I break, I snap, it's not my fault. I didn't mean to do it. I didn't want to bleed. I didn't want more scares for you to see. I hate myself and this misery. So sick I fall to the floor. My tears begin to pour. suddenly I awake. Days have gone by. But I don't care. If there's on thing my parents taut me. Its that life's not fair. Reality so harsh. Twists me around. So wrapped and dizzy. No one notices, their all to busy. I feel myself begin to fall. I lurk around in my dark halls. These halls filled with pan. Screams, blood, sweat, and tears. This sadness I've accumulated through all these years. It piles up, its just too high. I begin to crumble. I crash burn and die. Wipe those tears of your eyes. I don't want you to cry. Nothing seems to change. Nothing really matters. Everything around me, Always seems to shatter. Lost , alone, beaten, and battered. My thoughts again begin to gather. Too many at once. Why cant they be scattered? Nothing left to do. I wait this nightmare out. How many more can I survive? How many more before its my time? When will this burning stop? Life is just a dream to me now. There's nothing to look forward to. All of my friends begin to fade. Did any of them care? I don't want to know. The friends that are still clear to me, Their problems strike again. Why won't the world let us be happy? Why do others always win? I just found out one of my greatest pains was a lie. A lie that was given just to make me cry. It doesn't matter now I'm dead inside. Look at my scares I have nothing to hide. Problem after problem. I begin to trip. The rest of the world watches as I slip. I'm falling forever. Will I ever stop? The ground gives away. I trip, I fall, I have nothing left. As I fall I try to find my breath. When I die will I go up or down? It doesn't matter. Hell has a sweet sound. Don't want to think about tomorrow. tired of thinking about the past. And the presents just a mess. Maybe things would be clearer. If I just stopped to rest. To tired to rest. My hell continues. If only our lives came with menus. We could order what we wanted. And send the rest away. But in fact we have no choice. Our life was plotted, When we rolled those dice. The bad choices we make. The paths that are fake. It doesn't matter where you turn. Its always a mistake. They gave me the key. But I opened the gate. I opened the gate to this world I hate. I should have turned back. But now its too late. I chose my path. I made the mistake. It doesn't matter now. This is my fate. I've fallen to hard. I'm losing shape. I'm in pieces now. Just scattered across the ground. Stepped on by person after person. I reject the world. For the world has ignored me. As I sit and decay. I watch my life slip away. Nothing seems to stay the same. That is nothing but my endless pain. I don't know if I should talk it out. It doesn't matter it wont change. I feel I'm stuck. I'm stuck in this phase. Can't separate the truth in this haze. Life to me is one big maze. Speed up, slow down, turn myself inside out. Echoing my un heard shouts. Living in the dark. Looking for light. This restlessness night after night. I all ready know I've lost this fight. Corrupted, the world, the way things are. Destruction, manipulation, society today. The government lies and expects us to pay. Too many problems. I don't care about theirs. It doesn't matter nothings fair. What has become of the world? Was it even right from the start? Is this the worse? Or is the worse still to come? I feel like God has forgotten about everyone. I feel abandoned and betrayed. I can't even remember yesterday. I cant remember the past or the present. To tired to think about my future. I fall to my knees no expression of my face, I'd look around. But that would be a waste. So tired now I fall asleep. My dreams have become reality. My dreams, sweet dreams. How they like to repeat. These sweet dreams I will defeat. No more secrets do I keep. By Christine Follweiter [comments] => 2 [counter] => 175 [topic] => 43 [informant] => stolen-tears [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => oops )
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