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Array
(
[sid] => 30925
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => China Doll Face
[time] => 2004-01-06 19:28:00
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => China Doll Face Jan 5, 2004 on my china-doll face i hide the disgrace when the sun rises in the morning i know my cue, my warning before a single soul can see me i shut my eyes and breathe i tell myself this is just a fight and that i'm right i pull a face i've grown accustomed to onto my face and forget the race the racing pulse and beat of my heart those fiery tears that threaten to tear apart the last of my dignity the last of my shell i will myself to believe that i can relieve my own, and their thoughts too if i only make it invisible to you deep down i know i should peel away the layers i put on every day for once i could let everyone finally see this terror that shreads the inner me i could open my cried out eyes and take the day as a surprise in the house i'd take their worried stare and those words of comfort i have come to despair at school i'd not hide like a fool embrace the pain and not be so vain as i was all of my yesterdays id let my family see the ghosts that haunt me what would they think? my friends would finally know why i put on this show because it hurts to even look at me and i cant bare to cause people's agony so on my bedside this early morning as i have done so many days before i hide my realities behind this china-doll face that laughs with you smiles with you and hides from you the truth i shelter, to help you [comments] => 2 [counter] => 166 [topic] => 32 [informant] => calista [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => SadPoetry )
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