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Welcome ! | Home · FAQ · Topics · Web Links · Your Account · Submit Poetry · Top 30 · OldSite Link | 02-June 19:17:36 AEST | ||
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Array
(
[sid] => 30123
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Seven notebooks of goodbye.
[time] => 2003-12-24 21:06:29
[hometext] => ... its time for a break but I'm happy and I just need some time for me.
[bodytext] => A crude laugh and a fake smile, it was enough to fool anyone. It was who I was, it was what I was. It was written in black and white... every hidden corner of my life. Something intelligent to say about everything, never having to worry about saying the wrong thing. But when it came to my own life, it was a complete and utter wreck. At night I could not sleep, and my only sense of security was the words I could put on a page. The words were so simple, but the meaning ran deep with emotion. I was a thirteen year old lost in the mind of someone else. They didn't think I noticed that our eyes never connected, but I did... and it hurt. My life had been like an old photograph, captured in one instance, but never to be forgotten. No one ever dared to say anything, fearing what I might say in return. They figured their silence would help me... they thought I could handle it on my own. But I couldn't. I was wallowing in my own self pity, I needed to tell someone, but no one was ever around. My writing was always there... it never once gave up on me, it was the one thing that was always there... too listen but never talk back. Time went by... I began to sleep at night and my smile was not a forced smile any longer. My writing however... I did not need it like before. I became my own worst critic, I didn't understand it... and I became angry for not being good enough. So I gave up... and this is where it has left me. With seven notebooks of goodbye, and a smile that is for real. [comments] => 1 [counter] => 256 [topic] => 52 [informant] => stargazer [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => goodbyepoetry )
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