 |
Poems On Site: 198,500+ Comments On Poems: 427,000+ Forum Posts: 105,000+ |
Custom Search
|
|
|
||||
| Welcome ! | Home · FAQ · Topics · Web Links · Your Account · Submit Poetry · Top 30 · OldSite Link | 02-June 22:12:33 AEST | ||
|
|
||||
|
|
||||
|
|
||||
|
Array
(
[sid] => 28365
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Pleasingly Numb
[time] => 2003-12-01 11:55:28
[hometext] => I wrote this poem five minutes after my girlfriend of eight months dumped me. If you have not read Midnight Carnival you should before reading this. It will explain some things that are in this poem.
[bodytext] => Pleasingly Numb The Thoughts have returned, more powerful than ever this time, and I cannot resist. Sitting in this chair, muscles clenched, I am shaking, and tears prick at my eyes. A cry of anguish – a cross between a whimper and a yell escapes my lips, and I curl up in the fetal position, my fingers clutching, pulling at my hair. My breathing is rapid, and every muscle aches. I must…I must! ****!!! Frantically I search the drawer until I find it. Relieved, I clutch the knife in my hand, tight, never wanting to let go. My mind burns with memories and I long to see the blood, to feel the sharp burst of pain once again. But I mustn’t. Sitting hunched, my teeth grate and my knuckles whiten around the hilt. I yell, the pressure too much, and throw the scintillating toy down in a lucid moment of defiance. Desperately, I grope for a pen And now I write… But glancing over the page, the words are inadequate – I can see it lying there, Beckoning, Taunting. It happened… The words tear mercilessly through my mind. IT HAPPENED, and all the ****ING writing in the world won’t change that… ****. I want to cry but I can’t… My fingers clenching and unclenching sporadically, I twist and thrash in the chair, every nerve on end, the aggravation building. Intermittently, I pull at my hair, my breathing ragged. IT ****ING HAPPENED!!! I throw my hands in the air, a mix of frustration, sorrow, rage, confusion. Clasping them behind my neck I shut my eyes tight, trying to block these Thoughts. But they will not be silenced. My hand trembles as I write, and I push harder, harder on the pen, craving physical release. Oh ****…OH ****! The tension builds, and I look around for something to destroy, but the voice in my head tells me it is wrong. And now the hands, tearing at the hair again; I rock back and forth in the chair… I pound relentlessly on my pillow, and more then ever, I want the knife, my fingernails scraping repeatedly down my arms. I pick it up, and in both hands, I hold it, and I am still a moment. I think again, If I was completely numb, I could never be hurt. Then suddenly, in a wave, the sorrow is gone forced away, as I feel my body filling with anger, rage and hate. Contemptibly, I fling the tool down. But I am angry only at myself, for it is all I know that is legitimate. I hate myself for trusting, and believing, and feeling. I hate my naivety… and in a flash, I want to be shallow and sadistic. I want to feel nothing but hate. Because hate allows no pain. And as my stomach knots, and my storm of emotions battle confusedly, my face no longer contorts. It is expressionless. For as the smiling pictures on my walls jeer tormentingly, The word ‘forever’ is indefinitely abolished from my vocabulary, and I stare vacantly, hollow. [comments] => 2 [counter] => 241 [topic] => 13 [informant] => SensitiveSoAbused [notes] => < Edited by Mod_8 for language > [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => DarkPoetry )
|
Menu
· 
Poetry
Community
Members
Areas
Reference
Search
Top
Others
Poetry is much like a great photo, a single "moment in time" capturing many feelings and emotions. Yet, they are very alive; creating stirrings within the readers who form visual "pictures" of the expressed emotions within the Poem. ©
Opinions expressed in the poetry, comments, forums etc. on this site are not necessarily those of this site, its owners and/or operators; but of the individuals who post items to this site.
Frequently Asked Questions | | | Privacy Policy | | | Contact Webmaster
All submitted items are Copyright © to their submitter. All the rest Copyright © 2002-2050 by Your Poetry Dot Com
All logos and trademarks in this site are property of their respective owners.
Script Generation Time: 0.052 Seconds. - View our Site Map | .© your-poetry.com