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Array
(
[sid] => 28039
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Leaving Normal
[time] => 2003-11-27 01:14:05
[hometext] => My most personal poem to date. I had a breakdown in public the other day, and a lot of things I never thought I'd say came out, so I decided to let everything out in this piece. A little different from my usual style, but it's honest.
[bodytext] => Sometimes I feel it's all okay Sometimes I actually feel I can breathe Sometimes I feel like I've gotten over all of this so quickly - too quickly But when the next morning greets me I find myself drowning in a scalding sea of my own tears. Sometimes I can actually make myself believe that I can sprout wings and leave all this behind, that everything is alright - that fleeting, unseen parasite called hope. Sometimes I look at what I've written for the dead And I laugh and I burn and I let loose these tears But I'm so tired of feeling this way I've written it down in letters To send to where you are I crumple them up and throw them away I start all over again It's a rerun, it's a dungeon and this prisoner wants out. Sometimes I feel like I'll never be able to live without the one who is gone Waking up in the morning never seemed so pointless before Taking a shower feels so imbecilic Brushing my hair seems selfish. But then sometimes I feel this sense of freedom that's unwelcome It's pleasure but it's wrong And I exhale for relief and for guilt and for shame. Sometimes I'm so angry at the world and those smirking idiots who still have the indecency to be alive Sometimes I imagine myself pulling off another Columbine Each and every petty fantasy withers and cracks to die. Sometimes I'm just too tired to move, to think, to breathe I stare at the ceiling and this quiet resignation and sadness in me... Somehow it's worse than the anger and the grief and the guilt and the anarchy and the despair and the pining and the denial... Oh God, it's much worse. And I hold my head in my hands I'm stroking the anchor I go down, I go down And I see no more. [comments] => 4 [counter] => 388 [topic] => 6 [informant] => Avarice_Riot [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 10 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => AngryPoetry )
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