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Array ( [sid] => 25840 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => The person in the shadows... [time] => 2003-10-27 02:58:01 [hometext] => Please comment on my poem so I can get feedback as to whether I should keep up my writing... [bodytext] => The feeling is coldness...
It leads to thoughts of loneliness...
Of times that brought sadness...
Events of bottled up emotions which festered into angryness...

There has to be a finger pointing blame...
Its tip is staring you right in the face...
You are peering into a mirror...

Are you to blame or the person that hides in the shadows behind your body.... at the back of your mind... in the most darkest part of your soul...

Tough Call..... [comments] => 6 [counter] => 177 [topic] => 21 [informant] => 0o_Jelly_Bean_o0 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Lifepoems )

The person in the shadows...

Contributed by 0o_Jelly_Bean_o0 on Monday, 27th October 2003 @ 02:58:01 AM in AEST
Topic: Lifepoems

The feeling is coldness...
It leads to thoughts of loneliness...
Of times that brought sadness...
Events of bottled up emotions which festered into angryness...

There has to be a finger pointing blame...
Its tip is staring you right in the face...
You are peering into a mirror...

Are you to blame or the person that hides in the shadows behind your body.... at the back of your mind... in the most darkest part of your soul...

Tough Call.....

Copyright © 0o_Jelly_Bean_o0 ... [ 2003-10-27 02:58:01]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: The person in the shadows... (User Rating: 1 )
by Kindredblood_dragon on Monday, 27th October 2003 @ 07:08:49 AM AEST
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liked the bulk of the poem, but left at a loss to the last part
Tough Call.....
You started great but the ending needed more to it.
But then Im not the best of writters, but from what I've read of your work, it is good and yes you should carry on writting.

Re: The person in the shadows... (User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on Monday, 27th October 2003 @ 07:28:22 AM AEST
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Very good writing!
yes, by all means keep writing!
peace, joy, luv,
emy

Re: The person in the shadows... (User Rating: 1 )
by jaeann on Monday, 27th October 2003 @ 11:43:10 AM AEST
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you should ALWAYS keep writing........posting is hard sometimes....we inherently need that validation factor simply because our own opinions just won't do!!!!!.....
write
write
write
even it's just ramblings that don/t make any sense........get it out........

i like your thoughts.......festered into angriness............i love that line.........

Re: The person in the shadows... (User Rating: 1 )
by bobotheclown on Monday, 27th October 2003 @ 11:56:30 PM AEST
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Of course you should keep writing. Don't get fed up when your not feeling creative or whatever. Sometimes a couple lines come to me in a week and then the rest comes to me next week. An example of getting fed up is your poem. The 1st stanza was awesome the rest could use a bit more work, but DON'T stop good grief.

Bobo (Joel)

Re: The person in the shadows... (User Rating: 1 )
by Puppy_dog_eyes on Tuesday, 28th October 2003 @ 09:24:11 AM AEST
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Don't ever give up your writing.Too many people seem to lose their soul.I write because I want to, doesn't matter to me whether people like what I write.I'm glad when they do , but if not , I still feel enriched for putting down my thoughts and feelings.
Good luck

Re: The person in the shadows... (User Rating: 0 )
by Former_Member on Tuesday, 28th October 2003 @ 05:05:54 PM AEST
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I think you should definantly keep writing!!!! Love u... xx's liss

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