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Array
(
[sid] => 21242
[catid] => 1
[aid] => Mick
[title] => chin up. . ..
[time] => 2003-07-30 10:05:00
[hometext] => i have been through much but im still learning.. . .. the words in my soul still burnin.. . .yearning to get out.. .. so here they are.. ..
[bodytext] => Searchin through the pages in my life for words, to let the world know how much it hurts, went to jail for somethin not worth my time, it sucks cause it was my girl who dropped the dime, got out a while later walkin round like im hard, got shot three times now im emotionally scar'd, i am far from ordinary don't step on my feet, i am a young man but i am not weak, i seek love in the places, that it will never be found, i find it in the places that i don't go around, these tears of this man locked down for years, seventeen years old, too many fears, i can't walk down my street with matching colors, i can't say hello to someone if we aren't brotha's, anotha reason for me to be leavin so soon, i have said before i pray on a fool's moon, boom the gunshots blasting in every direction, people pull out guns, just to show their affection, correction?, naw they let them run loose, give them more bullets and more enemies to shoot, not fun to boot, with nothing to prove, no money to loot, they just want to shoot, it's pointless for me to walk around face down to the ground, if i have my head faced any direction i can get shot down, im bound to die sometime, i am not afraid, i pray sometimes but god doesnt understand, i am starting to think my disapearence is part of gods plan, i'm a man i will not be held down to the standards of what civilized is, i'm gonna live my life, i'm going to have kids, i'm gonna wake up in the mornin with a smile on my face, i'm gonna do things my way... .. . but i'll still pray, i know i might leave the face of the earth now, but i'm not worried bout me i'm worried bout my family now, i'm so proud of my neices and nephews so sweet, i wake up in the mornin to hear them brush their teeth, it may mean nothing to you as a person, but it's my sanity i'm sure, i love my family all with hearts so pure, i endure my pain and my pressures, so they dont stress, i mind my business and i dress how i dress, a big mess i'm in, will i see the son, the little man the only one, the one keeping me sane even though he is not here, the one telling me he loves me when i shed tears, i love this you could never understand this man, i plan on makin something of me soon, this is my life this is what i do, so i refuse to stop and act like i give a *****, sorry buddy you are just ***** out of luck, i will never put my head down, this is my street, i'm standin there while with a stick you beat, it doesnt matter to me, i still have a soul, i still have a reason for me to hold, i'm going to grow, i'm gonna live my life, with 3 little babies and a beautiful wife, im never gonna stop when my times get tough, im going to walk in gods grace.. .. . . with my chin up.. . . chin up soldier.. . .. [comments] => 2 [counter] => 149 [topic] => 48 [informant] => Nate [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => EmotionalPoetry )
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