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Array
(
[sid] => 19943
[catid] => 1
[aid] => Mick
[title] => Still Alone
[time] => 2003-07-04 20:05:00
[hometext] => I wrote this after going to see a friend's band play in a bar. I watched a gentleman sit alone all evening, and tried to place myself in his shoes and in his head.
[bodytext] => The band played a song by Stevie Ray Vaughn,
My fingers tapped lightly,
On the smooth black table top.
Notes from the guitar solo,
Screamed as the player fingerpicked,
Making the sound bend, almost complaining,
Nearly crying: the sound of a tortured soul.
My eyes closed for a moment,
Empathizing with the melody,
As it echoed in my head.
My eyes opened, to see a vision,
That had not been there moments ago,
I slowly lifted my drink,
To my lips, suddenly thirsty.
The diet soda did not quench,
This thirst of a different source.
I stare at my savior.
The thirst haunts me and
Adheres my feet to the floor.
Still parched, still alone.
I close my eyes again,
And feel the thirst, again,
As it creates a void,
That I can’t bring myself,
To quench.
I open my eyes,
So I don’t have to
Confront
My deepest fears,
Still parched, still alone.
My savior draws my attention,
Away from the guitar,
And for a nervous moment,
Our eyes stare together.
I search for acceptance,
For a sign of welcome.
My savior’s eyes give me nothing.
My thirst gains control of me again,
I turn my head away; forever it seems,
Still parched, still alone.
[comments] => 11
[counter] => 192
[topic] => 31
[informant] => Dr_Calm
[notes] =>
[ihome] => 0
[alanguage] => english
[acomm] => 0
[haspoll] => 0
[pollID] => 0
[score] => 9
[ratings] => 2
[editpoem] => 1
[associated] =>
[topicname] => StoryPoetry
)
Still Alone
Contributed by
Dr_Calm
on
Friday, 4th July 2003 @ 08:05:00 PM in AEST
Topic:
StoryPoetry
|
The band played a song by Stevie Ray Vaughn,
My fingers tapped lightly,
On the smooth black table top.
Notes from the guitar solo,
Screamed as the player fingerpicked,
Making the sound bend, almost complaining,
Nearly crying: the sound of a tortured soul.
My eyes closed for a moment,
Empathizing with the melody,
As it echoed in my head.
My eyes opened, to see a vision,
That had not been there moments ago,
I slowly lifted my drink,
To my lips, suddenly thirsty.
The diet soda did not quench,
This thirst of a different source.
I stare at my savior.
The thirst haunts me and
Adheres my feet to the floor.
Still parched, still alone.
I close my eyes again,
And feel the thirst, again,
As it creates a void,
That I can’t bring myself,
To quench.
I open my eyes,
So I don’t have to
Confront
My deepest fears,
Still parched, still alone.
My savior draws my attention,
Away from the guitar,
And for a nervous moment,
Our eyes stare together.
I search for acceptance,
For a sign of welcome.
My savior’s eyes give me nothing.
My thirst gains control of me again,
I turn my head away; forever it seems,
Still parched, still alone.
Copyright ©
Dr_Calm
... [
2003-07-04 20:05:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Still Alone
(User Rating: 1 )
by Ilhar on
Friday, 4th July 2003 @ 08:33:09 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
very moving write
Shari |
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Re: Still Alone
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_Kalicharan on
Friday, 4th July 2003 @ 09:08:42 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
Welcome to ypdc, Jeff... Very good write... interesting theme and good imagery....I felt like I was in that bar too, observing all...
I'm looking forward to reading more of your work..
A new fan..
Jenni |
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Re: Still Alone
(User Rating: 1 )
by Saira on
Friday, 4th July 2003 @ 09:34:55 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
It's a lovely write with striking images. Well done and welocme to YPDC! :-)
Saira |
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Re: Still Alone
(User Rating: 1 )
by LovingWhispers on
Saturday, 5th July 2003 @ 12:13:14 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
| Yeah I thought this a really interesting theme too.....I love to go to pubs and watch bands...siiting quietly alone is enjoyable to me sometimes.I never thought about the ones who sit alone through no choice...Thanks for sharing.By the way...welcome welcome welcome lol..You will find plenty of welcome signs here at ypdc. |
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Re: Still Alone
(User Rating: 1 )
by Dr_Calm on
Saturday, 5th July 2003 @ 02:24:09 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
Ilhar,
Thanks for taking the time to read and comment on my poem. I am glad you enjoyed it.
Dr_Calm |
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Re: Still Alone
(User Rating: 1 )
by Dr_Calm on
Saturday, 5th July 2003 @ 02:27:03 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
Jenni,
Thank you very much for taking the time to read my poem. I have only been writing for about a year and a half, so this is all very new to me.
I will look for some of your work and read it.
Thank you again,
Jeffrey |
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Re: Still Alone
(User Rating: 1 )
by Dr_Calm on
Saturday, 5th July 2003 @ 02:29:03 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
Saira,
Thanks for taking the time to read and comment on my poem. It is my first post here and I am glad you enjoyed it.
I will look for some of your work.
Jeffrey
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Re: Still Alone
(User Rating: 1 )
by Dr_Calm on
Saturday, 5th July 2003 @ 02:31:31 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
LovingWhispers,
Thank you for taking the time to read and comment on my poem. I will continue to look for your work and read it.
Thanks again!
Jeffrey |
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Re: Still Alone
(User Rating: 1 )
by ShadowsCloud on
Sunday, 6th July 2003 @ 02:19:57 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
Very good poem. I love the imagery, made me feel as if I were there too.
ShadowsCloud |
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Re: Still Alone
(User Rating: 1 )
by Dr_Calm on
Monday, 7th July 2003 @ 01:41:34 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
ShadowCloud,
Thank you for taking a moment to comment on my poem. This was my first post here, I recently posted the lyrics to a song I wrote called "The Flame".
I will make it a point to look for some of your work.
Thank you again,
Jeffrey |
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Re: Still Alone
(User Rating: 1 )
by KiSwaters on
Thursday, 16th October 2003 @ 06:06:30 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| I felt the imagery too, but I felt as thought it was him, not the bar or the band that I saw. |
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