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Array
(
[sid] => 186084
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Transfusion
[time] => 2019-04-03 20:54:36
[hometext] => Ever had a friend that was hurting and you just wanted to give them something of yourself to help...
[bodytext] =>
I found her earlier today,
Laying there in the road bleeding out
In a pool made from her broken heart.
Instantly I tore away my sleeve,
Using it to plug the hole.
Yet still it seeped.
Each drop stealing the blush from her cheeks.
I grasp the black bag I see nearby,
Untangling masses of tubes and needles.
A piercing pain for me, but nothing to her.
I watch.
I watch as my life flows into hers,
Stopping the loss, easing the pain.
Darkness begins to well in my eyes.
A roaring in my ears.
Collapsing to the pavement beside her,
Before the blackness takes me away,
I swear.
I swear I heard her gasp in relief.
PKS
4/2/19
[comments] => 5
[counter] => 194
[topic] => 16
[informant] => Jecks
[notes] =>
[ihome] => 0
[alanguage] => english
[acomm] => 0
[haspoll] => 0
[pollID] => 0
[score] => 0
[ratings] => 0
[editpoem] => 1
[associated] =>
[topicname] => FriendshipPoetry
)
Transfusion
Contributed by
Jecks
on
Wednesday, 3rd April 2019 @ 08:54:36 PM in AEST
Topic:
FriendshipPoetry
|
I found her earlier today,
Laying there in the road bleeding out
In a pool made from her broken heart.
Instantly I tore away my sleeve,
Using it to plug the hole.
Yet still it seeped.
Each drop stealing the blush from her cheeks.
I grasp the black bag I see nearby,
Untangling masses of tubes and needles.
A piercing pain for me, but nothing to her.
I watch.
I watch as my life flows into hers,
Stopping the loss, easing the pain.
Darkness begins to well in my eyes.
A roaring in my ears.
Collapsing to the pavement beside her,
Before the blackness takes me away,
I swear.
I swear I heard her gasp in relief.
PKS
4/2/19
Copyright ©
Jecks
... [
2019-04-03 20:54:36] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Transfusion
(User Rating: 1 ) by Breezy on
Thursday, 4th April 2019 @ 02:39:38 AM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
wow!
The emotion in this is overwhelming, Jeckster. And there is so
much of it displayed - turmoil, anguish, empathy, torture, altruism ...
and at the end, relief.
Gripping to the last, dear friend. [but I/'/m secretly seriously looking
forward to an HR write soon! ;) ]
~ B
^_^
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Re: Transfusion
(User Rating: 1 ) by softerware on
Thursday, 4th April 2019 @ 04:59:13 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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STOPPING THE LOSS EASING THE PAIN. Your powerful poem reminds us of how helpless we actually are even with all our technology. It touches the heart knowing that we have all known someone we couldn/'/t save, and you have let us imagine that we could.
The end line has us ALL gasping in relief at what it would be like to be the hero in your poem.
A grand story with a stalwart central character that speaks to the hero in each of us.
softerware
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Re: Transfusion
(User Rating: 1 ) by JamesStockdale on
Thursday, 4th April 2019 @ 11:23:55 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I agree with the above comments. Great writing here.....
Brings a new meaning to transfusion....
Nice! |
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Re: Transfusion
(User Rating: 1 ) by unknown_utopia on
Friday, 5th April 2019 @ 01:32:23 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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They said it all before I could
great poem
thanx for sharing |
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Re: Transfusion
(User Rating: 1 ) by lostinmyself on
Friday, 5th April 2019 @ 04:09:11 PM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
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I feel that so many of us here are that person, the person who would give themselves for a friend, to help sooth their pain. Your friend is lucky to have you.
As for the poem. I love the form, how the last word of the 1st stanza is the 1st word on the next. I love how you can see the picture. It/'/s awesome to see your writing again. |
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