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Welcome ! | Home · FAQ · Topics · Web Links · Your Account · Submit Poetry · Top 30 · OldSite Link | 10-June 21:53:41 AEST | ||
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Array
(
[sid] => 173793
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Depression with life's aggression.
[time] => 2012-09-11 04:58:59
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => How am I supposed to feel. This world is so harsh and cruel. Constantly doing wrong in the eyes of everyone near. These people, this world, I blame it all for my childish fears. How do you expect me to smile when your lying, to make a bond. A bond not just for a few years but for life. Dad, you gave yourself to mum, now to just want to push her off to live for fun. Those words you said have always stuck, running trough my mind, deep down I know it's not true. But to hear the words you said and still meant hurts. To be called a ***** for kissing a boy. To know I'm a dissapointnent. Constantly pushed up against a great component. I'm not smart, I'm not close to beautiful. People see me not for me, judge daily by passers who know nothing at all. My anger lingers inside me everyday wanting to explode. Wanting to rage! Let me be free for once can just someone accept me for me?! No one to understand, no one I trust to even bare my excruciating pain. ***** life, giving up would be so much easier, I'm a hypocrite I tell people, be strong everything will be okay. Ha. Biggest lie. Everyone dies when I think deeply about it, I always wonder if anyone would even cry? I have friends, but none I can tell. It's hard to walk around the place your supposed to call home when we all live under one roof yet, you can't feel no love. I stay in my room, I draw and write. Half the time it all turns out ***** in my room I hide from the world, I hate the company of people. I cry because I care, care way too much. I over think, I put my own pressure on myself trying to fulfill the image that everyone wants from me. Why the hell in this world do people just not let you be? Why can't they take a chance? Just for once It'd be amazing if for one second you could just see. See inside the life of someone and give them that little bit of strength to believe. I'm here so I know I should be grateful, thoe everyday I still wish it were me up there and my best friend down here. My life so messed, but to only see the things I have and to be healthy and alive I know all I should feel is to be blessed. But you wanna know the truth?! I couldn't seriously careless. Because someone out there deserves this much more then I do. People can't see me. They see me fake. I'm not happy, for years I've been a total mess. Never knowing what to do, I'm still here so I must be strong? Something I did, I can't believe but I opened up. I told my friend, I wanted it all to come to an end. I told her my past she cried and wish it were all just a messed up lie. Never one to talk about my life. She never knew I tried to commit suicide, a failed attempt I wish that ****** rope never broke! The tears that fell were true from that moment I knew someone cared. But still not enough to stop my depression. This is all one big confession, but there's never really a true cure, one to forget, nothing can ever really be gone of depression. Everyone's hidden, everyone has a story. Dark, sad, miserable, incomprehensible people judge you from one look on the street. The world is its own hell you live it everyday. Do you even realise that girl you said is pregnant could be holding a baby of rape? Could you ever think the boy that's smiling and popular is really hurting and wanting to be killing inside? For me my life is like a beach at high tide, I write my life down then wash it out to sea when the tide comes. [comments] => 1 [counter] => 156 [topic] => 13 [informant] => LauranHyde [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => DarkPoetry )
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