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Array
(
[sid] => 171367
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Even if it kills me
[time] => 2012-03-17 22:47:26
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => I go through life trying as hard as i can, hiding the truth behind every grin. I know that there are things I just cannot do, but i push and i push until i get through, then later, alone, the tears usually fall cause i feel like he just didn't hear my call. have you ever walked an inch in my worn out shoes? you have not, so don't judge the blues that i spew. every hour of every day i am usually in pain, because so much is against me, and i wanna break the chain. it sucks being told not to do anything that involves being alive, having all your dreams die, the only way to survive.. so i'm living, but it's more like i'm dying, just roaming around searching aimlessly for nothing because nothing is all i am allowed in this world, well, i guess that's not true, i have the written word.. I also posses a flawed heart, to make me feel useless, and a back that makes me feel worthless. so, i go through life trying as hard as i can, hiding the truth behind every grin. and i keep doing the things i know i should not, and the things i know i can not. what sucks is when people know, because as hard as I try to hide them, the flaws continue to show.. so i shrug it off and I try again because, i have to be the girl that can.. even if it kills me.. I don't know why i expect anyone to understand.. [comments] => 5 [counter] => 271 [topic] => 43 [informant] => purplestary [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => oops )
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