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Array ( [sid] => 161386 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Shreads [time] => 2010-07-25 19:37:17 [hometext] => My heart has been in pain for a while and this poem came to life when i was reminiscing of my lost lover & family feuds. PLEASE BRUTALLY COMMENT THANKS [bodytext] => Burns to the core
once hit, fragile spline left behind
abominable anguish hard to ignore
whens eternal agony my heart is confined

last sheet starts to shed
safe to say we've lost this war?
we've fought to the last thread
sweat & blood soaked on our swords
all in vein, cuz tis love never meant to be restored
[comments] => 3 [counter] => 267 [topic] => 22 [informant] => fatalpath [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 11 [ratings] => 3 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => LostLove )

Shreads

Contributed by fatalpath on Sunday, 25th July 2010 @ 07:37:17 PM in AEST
Topic: LostLove

Burns to the core
once hit, fragile spline left behind
abominable anguish hard to ignore
whens eternal agony my heart is confined

last sheet starts to shed
safe to say we've lost this war?
we've fought to the last thread
sweat & blood soaked on our swords
all in vein, cuz tis love never meant to be restored

Copyright © fatalpath ... [ 2010-07-25 19:37:17]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Shreads (User Rating: 1 )
by boredtrucker on Sunday, 25th July 2010 @ 07:40:13 PM AEST
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i see the pain but the imagry is a little vague coarse i anit a real artist:)

Re: Shreads (User Rating: 1 )
by LovingWhispers on Sunday, 25th July 2010 @ 11:29:46 PM AEST
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Some deep thinking and even DEEPER pain here hon.
Both of which you have expressed well and I do hope that in writing about it,it helps to alleviate your burden somewhat.

Blessings
LW

Re: Shreads (User Rating: 1 )
by northernlights on Monday, 26th July 2010 @ 07:20:15 AM AEST
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Honest appraisal,I can feel your pain in your writing so this is good writing,but appreciated the second verse more than the first esp sweat and blood soaked on our swords,an image of finality and suffering that cannot be refuted, keep writing

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