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Array
(
[sid] => 155232
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => obsolete
[time] => 2009-11-21 23:32:08
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => Desperate for acceptence Pleading for love Lost in abundence of misery I struggle to survive Lost and broken A wasted useless product Manufactured with a virus Praying to change, to be fixed But never close to being normal Abandoned by hope Why care anymore? I'm pointless, pathetic, and poor Diseased from birth Uncurable Will I ever find my place? I have one simple wish To belong somewhere To be loved unconditionally for who I am But who I am is unlovable Unfixable Broken mind, my will is shattered I try so desperatly to change But am who I am And even the tears and struggles Cannot fix the uncurable Happiness? What's happiness? That feeling I have right before something tears me apart? An ounce of joy begets an endless mountain of pain and frustration I am obsolete An abhorrent concoction of anger and upset Meant to die at birth Yet somehow survived to be punished for the problems of my father I didn't ask to be different, to be born broken I didn't ask to be worthless and unlovable Brought into this dark, cruel world as a pure soul Tainted by illnesses unable to be changed Is it too much to ask For something to, for once, go right? For a shred of good to shine through For love when I am who I am and cannot change? Why must I suffer so much For a life I didn't ask for, didn't want? Why should nothing good ever happen to me? My life's pathetic I'm not pretty, not smart I'm broken and screwed up Confused and depressed Because everything turns sour Talentless, unable to fit in to society Strange I look for love For acceptance For joy For a purpous But even when I sit alone Mind my own business Trouble finds me, bruises me Why do I try? [comments] => 3 [counter] => 220 [topic] => 48 [informant] => desolantdreamer [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 15 [ratings] => 3 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => EmotionalPoetry )
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