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Array ( [sid] => 14361 [catid] => 1 [aid] => Mick [title] => Walk Away (Revised) [time] => 2003-03-16 21:20:00 [hometext] => A revised copy of a previously posted poem, based on some suggestions. Compare the two and let me know what you think. (There isn't a huge difference) [bodytext] => The loudest thing I ever heard,
Was when you never said a word.
You turned your back and walked away
Assuming that I’d be okay
You had to know that I was scared
You never even really cared
I trusted you with all of me.
For my safety, I now flee
Captured in your icy stare
Hurt like this is very rare
I'll pick up the pieces of my core
And rebuild them in a quiet roar
Life has never given me slack,
So walk away and don’t look back
[comments] => 4 [counter] => 247 [topic] => 32 [informant] => LJ [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 10 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => SadPoetry )

Walk Away (Revised)

Contributed by LJ on Sunday, 16th March 2003 @ 09:20:00 PM in AEST
Topic: SadPoetry

The loudest thing I ever heard,
Was when you never said a word.
You turned your back and walked away
Assuming that I’d be okay
You had to know that I was scared
You never even really cared
I trusted you with all of me.
For my safety, I now flee
Captured in your icy stare
Hurt like this is very rare
I'll pick up the pieces of my core
And rebuild them in a quiet roar
Life has never given me slack,
So walk away and don’t look back

Copyright Â© LJ ... [ 2003-03-16 21:20:00]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Walk Away (Revised) (User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on Sunday, 16th March 2003 @ 09:55:40 PM AEST
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i have read them both and i like this one better because i think it relates to a broader audience here, your subtle changes give a stronger meaning, at least through my eyes, i think it's great btw:)

Re: Walk Away (Revised) (User Rating: 1 )
by MoonlitAngel on Monday, 17th March 2003 @ 01:25:27 AM AEST
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Wow that's amazing! Great job! Blessed be,

~ Moonlit Angel

Re: Walk Away (Revised) (User Rating: 1 )
by DreamWeaver on Monday, 17th March 2003 @ 02:52:22 AM AEST
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I found it really difficult to choose, so I'll just say a great write for both poems .. it's how you feel more comfortable with the end result that counts.. Jan

Re: Walk Away (Revised) (User Rating: 1 )
by Bizzy on Tuesday, 22nd April 2003 @ 12:32:44 PM AEST
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LJ, this is really a good one. It packs alot of punch! I haven't read the other version yet.
Friend Bizzy

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