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Array ( [sid] => 141913 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Zombies Apply Within [time] => 2008-04-27 15:09:42 [hometext] => darkness shines within [bodytext] => my unseen world
is
draining away from me
my light is slowly fading
my mind
feels
as if
someone has frozen
its capabilities to perform

I am observing
my surroundings
familiar they are
both near and yet
so very far
I am incapable to move

please don't feed me
well meaning words
some of which
are overdosed
with the sweetness
of your world

which is fine for you
but your world is your world
your life is rich and filled
with well deserved light
so please don't feed me
words overdosed with sweetness
your sweetness

I'm here
in a dark place
with my emotions
unable to perform
even the simplest of tasks
I'm here
in a dark unforgiving place

for company I have
moving images
of slit wrists
and newly spilt blood

shiny, and inviting
razor blades
eagerly await
my shaking hands
shiny and inviting
razor blades
willing me on
to cut deep
to help me on my way

my mind refuses
to acknowledge
what I need to do
its numb, frozen
in yesteryears sunshine
giving me a glimmer of hope
a word I whole heartedly despise
I remain motionless
I stare into something
thats not there
I'm lost in my private place
unable to stare my suicide
in its mocking face

(C)2008 Lenny Gazbowski
[comments] => 5 [counter] => 242 [topic] => 36 [informant] => Lenny_Gazbowski [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 10 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Suicide )

Zombies Apply Within

Contributed by Lenny_Gazbowski on Sunday, 27th April 2008 @ 03:09:42 PM in AEST
Topic: Suicide

my unseen world
is
draining away from me
my light is slowly fading
my mind
feels
as if
someone has frozen
its capabilities to perform

I am observing
my surroundings
familiar they are
both near and yet
so very far
I am incapable to move

please don't feed me
well meaning words
some of which
are overdosed
with the sweetness
of your world

which is fine for you
but your world is your world
your life is rich and filled
with well deserved light
so please don't feed me
words overdosed with sweetness
your sweetness

I'm here
in a dark place
with my emotions
unable to perform
even the simplest of tasks
I'm here
in a dark unforgiving place

for company I have
moving images
of slit wrists
and newly spilt blood

shiny, and inviting
razor blades
eagerly await
my shaking hands
shiny and inviting
razor blades
willing me on
to cut deep
to help me on my way

my mind refuses
to acknowledge
what I need to do
its numb, frozen
in yesteryears sunshine
giving me a glimmer of hope
a word I whole heartedly despise
I remain motionless
I stare into something
thats not there
I'm lost in my private place
unable to stare my suicide
in its mocking face

(C)2008 Lenny Gazbowski

Copyright © Lenny_Gazbowski ... [ 2008-04-27 15:09:42]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Zombies Apply Within (User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on Sunday, 27th April 2008 @ 03:17:59 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

This is indeed dark and chilling.
Poem well written.

Michelle

Re: Zombies Apply Within (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Sunday, 27th April 2008 @ 11:27:42 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Lenny,

what a GREAT title!!! This was so well written and I SO get this part ..

"but your world is your world
your life is rich and filled
with well deserved light
so please don't feed me
words overdosed with sweetness
your sweetness"

Excellently put! The whole piece was gripping. You have given
us a little insight into the mind of someone who wishes no longer
to live inside the emotions that life's blows deals to them. And the
incessant, although well meaning, words of comfort from friends and
relations just add to the frustrations ...

Perfectly written, Lenny. There is a hopelessness in this that really
evokes a sadness within your readers.

Thoughts, prayers and hopes to you ~

~Breezy

Re: Zombies Apply Within (User Rating: 1 )
by Arijadna77 on Sunday, 27th April 2008 @ 11:46:57 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

"I'm lost in my private place
unable to stare my suicide
in its mocking face"

I can feel it...

Re: Zombies Apply Within (User Rating: 1 )
by Lenny_Gazbowski on Monday, 28th April 2008 @ 01:52:22 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I am deeply moved by all three of your comments. I truly appreciate your words, and I'm honored that each one of you found something to take from "Zombies Apply Within". Suicide is a lonely companion, and is, I believe experienced by many more people in these uncertain times; I'm not implying that everyone who stands on gangplank walks over the edge into whatever afterlife awaits us. I know of many people who have been there, but managed to turn around. I myself have encountered its unpleasant menace, and what really grated me were the "kind" and sugarcoated words of friends. Because when your are being shepherded by your unwanted companion, these words can sometimes push you closer !
I am sorry for digressing ! Many thanks again for all your positive words.

Lenny

Re: Zombies Apply Within (User Rating: 1 )
by crazy on Tuesday, 29th April 2008 @ 01:57:54 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

my fav line is
"please don't feed me
well meaning words
some of which
are overdosed
with the sweetness
of your world"
this is so true...this is perfect for the way i feel all the time...great write....

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